Storm in My Teacup

2011 coming to an end

2011-12-26T20:13:00.002+08:00

My mind is whirling with thoughts as the year 2011 comes to an end.

All the possibilities of 2012.... so exhilarating and frightening at the same time!

I think about work now day and night.. there isn't much room or energy for anything else at the end of the day..

Probably just enough time for a catchup or two with friends, a good run and Sunday service..?

With such a drastic change in environment, I will naturally feel stressed at times.. however it wasn't from a negative scenario.. In fact, upon further introspection I came to understand that the probability of good prospects far exceeds my wildest expectations..

The stress comes from the knowledge that if I were to maintain what I am currently doing now, the sky's the limit for 2012! hence the opportunity cost is great if for some reason I fail to do so..

you know, that kinda stupid fear of "what ifs"..

God, you can take over.. my mind is too puny to juggle work and worry about all these "what ifs" concurrently.. an excerpt that I came across today aptly relayed that

When we rest in the Lord, He will not rest. He will work on our behalf.

I can't believe you just said THAT..

2011-11-07T12:24:00.004+08:00

"Do not think you know better just because you studied more. Experience wise I will always be ahead of you.."

I was told that in Mandarin by my dad (*surprise surprise*)..

... AND it was me announcing that I bought a studio shoot package for the family (with the best intention because I know my dad had wanted to take a family portrait for a while) that led to that statement..

What the fuck riiiight? how on earth it got to that??

on hindsight, it is so ridiculous that it is funny.. how dysfunctional my family can get..

It all started with a very innocent corporate photoshoot because I need a nice picture for my namecard.. I decided to get a promotional $99 studio package which includes 5 photos (of various dimensions) from 40 shots.. the idea was a 1 family portrait, 1 of my parents and 1 each for me and my siblings..

unfortunately, somehow the good intention wasn't communicated across.. FML

when I told my dad this morning that we can fix one day and go down to the studio together, he started playing the role of a naysayer..

"Did you ask whether you can get a softcopy?" "Do you know what's the price to print more copies?" "Do you know that such a cheap package doesn't include all these?" "You have to consider all these before you buy, you know.." "It's not such a good deal actually."

To his concerns, I explained that I am well-aware that if I want all these additional stuff I prolly gotta pay extra and I did take all these into consideration.. if the "extra" is too ridiculously priced, I'm happy with the 5 photos alone..

Oblivious to what I just said, he repeated the whole chunk again, implying that I got conned.. not once, not twice but at least 3 times..!

Okay, let me admit my fault first..... I lost it.

I was damn annoyed and I stated (not in the most charming tone) that I'm a grown adult now, I don't need you to teach me how to go about doing this as if I am still a little girl.. I know you people had wanted to do this for a while but no one wants to do a proper job of organising it.. and since I've already forked out the money for the studio shoot, for God's sake, just turn up..

He kept quiet a while and sat in his armchair.. a few minutes later he shot me that stunning one-liner..

afterwhich he pointed out that he has observed my behaviour to be the complete opposite when at home and outside.. I appear to be very patient to outsiders but I don't treat my family well..

"I admit you have had higher education but that does not mean you are more knowledgeable," he added. "We'll always know more than you!"

Great! My dad has an even lower opinion of me now.. he is convinced that I am a hypocrite AND I look down on them..

SIGH.. I give up..

Baby steps

2011-10-27T18:58:00.003+08:00

I passed my M5 from SCI today!

was grinning from ear to ear as I walked out of the exam venue at Suntec Tower 2 this morning..

M5 is one of the 3 papers I gotta pass before I start work..

My current fling..

I was so afraid that I would fail and have to retake.. mainly because I haven't study anything concrete for the past 3 years and now I have to finish a text book every week, 1 textbook for 1 paper..

the fact that I'll only be reimbursed if I pass all three papers at the first try made me stress too!

Thank God my brain still functions well..!!!!!!!!!

now that I realised the papers are actually quite manageable, I can't wait to finish my "tottering" and start "sprinting"!!

I give myself 2 years! let's wait and see! so excited..

Leap of faith

2011-10-20T23:40:00.005+08:00

Today I gave up my mortgage specialist offer with attractive renumeration for a job with no basic pay and 100% commission...

Some friends said I am mad..

God, Im trusting you on this one.

The next chapter..

2011-10-02T00:47:00.007+08:00

After 3 years I have decided to quit my job.

Left to Right: Wang Fang, Me and Jerlene

Never expected this day to come to be honest.. I was so happy and carefree in the airlines.. I love my crew friends, I love to travel and I thought I could stay in this job forever..

how it first started was when (ironically) I told myself that since I enjoy flying THAT much, I might as well give all my offdays away and spend minimal time in Singapore.. I dont have a boyfriend or other commitments anyway.. and it is really REALLY beneficial to my bank account..

I flew like mad.

I was never in Singapore for longer than a day plus at any one point in time.. the record was a whole month with only 4offdays.. unfortunately, that also force me to see the monetary limit of this job.. I am flying my ass off and this xxxx amount is the highest that I can ever hope to earn for the next decade at least..

at around the same point in time, I caught up with an old friend who just bought a BMW after 2 years plus in a sales job.. oh man! I am very happy for him but it made me realised how small my current comfort zone is..

long story short, I decided to give sales job a shot..

Since I have almost no life already anyway, a sales job can't be worse than that..

the world is my oyster and I am out to get it!!

What are words?

2011-09-24T01:33:00.007+08:00

I first heard this song when I was at a hotel lobby overseas waiting for my colleagues.. they were late and I was sitting by myself..

when the ballard started playing, it just tugged at my heartstrings.. although I couldn't fully catch the words, as it was playing very softly, I can't help feeling immensely sad over the song..

It was only 2 days back when I heard this song again and I was able to get the song title and artist.. I was at Acid Bar with a group of friends..

The lyrics are so simple yet so beautiful..

Indeed, what are words if you don't mean them when you say them?

(of course I refer to the context between you and your loved ones and not in a relationship of convenience between acquaintances and colleagues..)

It would be a dream come true if the man I love shares the same sentiments as those in the lyrics..

even if he can't promise anything else..

WHAT ARE WORDS?
Anywhere you are, I am near
Aywhere you go, I'll be there
Anytime you whisper my name
You'll see

Every single promises I'll keep
'Cause what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave
when you need me most?

What are words
If you really don't mean them when you say them?
What are words
If they're only for good times, then they're done?

When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, they never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

And I know an angel was sent
Just for me and I know I'm meant
To be where I am
And I'm gonna be

Standing right beside her tonight
And I'm gonna be by your side
I would never leave
When she needs me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them when you say them?
What are words
If they're only for the good times, then they're done?

When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, they never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
And I'm gonna be here
Forever more

Every single promises I keep
'Cause what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave
When you need me most?

I'm forever keeping my angel close

colourless life

2011-08-19T01:15:00.007+08:00

I feel that I am flying until I am losing track of reality.. forever suspended in between foreign land and Singapore.. not feeling in touch with or rooted to either..

As much as I wish I have something to look forward to when I come "home", I don't..

All relations around me seem superficial and volatile.. unable to weather hardship or provocation.. severing of ties shouldn't come so easily to one's lips..

people tell me that they envy my job, my chance to see the world, my seemingly "happening" life..

the truth is I envy everybody else..

Dear readers, appreciate your loved ones.. family or friends.. these people are the precious ingredients that bring colours to your life..

without them, nothing can fill that void of emptiness..

and believe me when I tell you that it is a hallow, lonely and terrible feeling..

I hate my colourless life.

Ladder Theory

2011-07-26T01:06:00.009+08:00

According to the Ladder Theory, men have only 1 ladder the "sex ladder", while women have 2 ladders, the "sex ladder" and "friend ladder"..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So it should be self-evident that the people you want to have sex with the most will be at the top of the ladder. Descending down to the bottom of the ladder we pass the following people:

1. The people we really want, who may even be out of our league, are on top.
2. Then come the people we like.
3. Moving further down we pass the people who we would fuck if we were intoxicated and would admit to doing it later.
4. At the bottom are the people we would fuck drunk, and would lie about doing it later.

Clinging to the bottom are the girls that are wolf ugly. These are women so ugly you would chew your own arm off to get away rather than fuck them. Usually fake teeth, or the loss of several hundred pounds can move a woman up from wolf ugly.

A woman has two ladders. The friends ladder is where a woman puts guys that she considers "just friends". More to the point where she puts guys who don't get to have sex with her.

The problem arises because a woman never lets a guy know which ladder he is on. Obviously there is a huge difference, or gap between these two ladders. It is in this gap that kisses of death are delivered and intellectual whores are made.

All a man can do is "go for it" and make a move on a girl; ask her out, try to kiss her, write her a love note or whatever. If he's on the good ladder fine. If he is on the friends ladder, this is a case of ladder jumping from the friends ladder to the real ladder.

The girl has two choices at this point: she can let him on the ladder and all is well, or, more likely, she can kick him in the head, and off the ladder. If you look, you'll see that below the ladder is the Abyss(what was it Nietzsche said about a man being on a rope stretched over an Abyss?....well it's worse than he thought; there is no rope.)

So the man falls into the Abyss.

The Abyss isn't really as bad as it sounds. Mostly it's a period of self-loathing, embarrassment, and of course utter awkwardness with the girl in question if they are talking at all.

To fully illustrate the point I'll now examine some common scenarios and their ladder theory explanations. For purposes of these examples Tom will be our boy and Jane will be our girl.

Scenario 1: Tom meets Jane. She's pretty and seems interesting to talk to. Tom and Jane started hanging out and talking more and more. Tom develops an attraction to Jane, and one day tries to kiss her. Jane tell Tom she doesn't think of him that way and she wants to remain friends. The next few weeks contact between the two falls off.

Ladder Theory Explanation: Tom met Jane. Tom was immediately placed on the friends ladder. Tom didn't know this. Tom tried to jump ladders. Jane kicked Tom in the head rather than let him on and sent him hurtling to the Abyss below.

Scenario 2: Tom meets Jane. She's cute and seems smart. After an appropriate amount of time he asks her out on a date. She acccepts and they have what seems to be a perfectly nice date. Tom thinks he has a chance with Jane. He asks her out again. She says no, either explicitly or by never returning his phone call. Tom has no idea what the Hell just happened.

Ladder Theory Explanation: Jane misrepresented which ladder Tom was on. He thought he was on the good ladder because of her acceptance of the date. Mistake. This led to an unintentional ladder jump. He was kicked into the Abyss. In this situation, Jane often wants to stay friends becasue you are so interesting and funny or some shit like that. If this happens you are most likely an Intellectual Whore. I'm sorry.

Scenario 3: A girl says any of the following to you:

• "You're like a brother to me"
• "You're like a big teddy bear".
• "I feel like I can talk to you about anything"
• "You're so nice"
• "Can you help me with my homework"

Ladder Theory Explanation: You are on the friends ladder. So Sorry.

side note:

Cuddle Bitches
cuddle bitch(n) - a guy who never gets to sleep with a girl but gets to have intimate moments with her like cuddling, spooning, or otherwise being affectionate. Usually this will occur in private. She probably considers him a really sweet guy, which is the kiss of death.

First off, cuddle bitches are bad, bad things to be. Maybe the worst thing to be. I mean, being an Intellectual Whore is bad, but being an Intellectual Whore who has to endure blue-balls is bordering on criminal.

Basically this is just a guy who has a very high position on the friends ladder. So far up the friends ladder that he gets the dubious honor of getting to provide all the intimacy that a girl is missing. So he gets to be the proxy father/confessor/friend/teddy bear for her, depending on what she is missing at the time.

Perhaps the only consolation of this, is a ladder jump to the real ladder seems statistically a little more likely to succeed. Of course, when one is that high up the fall is dreadful indeed...

For guys unacquainted with Ladder Theory, it is even worse. The cuddle bitch often thinks he is on the good ladder as opposed to the real ladder. So he gets all excited about his position instead of realizing he is being completely used.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

at first i found it really funny.. but after i finished laughing, i became horribly depressed..

the reason why the theory amuses me was because it mirrors reality.. maybe a little too much.. it's a very hedonistic outlook of the world..

does this mean all my guy friends are really that insincere? do i really have a harem of intellectual whores and cuddle bitches?

sometimes the truth is ugly and you dont want to be shown it.. it makes you even more jaded..

crushes, love and forever

2011-07-19T23:15:00.009+08:00

there are a few close guy friends that have been behaving with the intentions (at least i interpret as such) of being more than friends recently..

although flattered i dont feel good about it at all..

after my last relationship, im even more convinced that my next man must be a christian or at least someone who is inclined (on top of the 38765249 other items on the list).. none of them are even remotely near this criteria..

i guess it is only a matter of time before they realize their interest will not be reciprocated as i'm treating them in a manner as platonic as possible..

when that day comes, i would be really sad if they stop being friends with me..

disappointed as well as i thought they would be more mature than that..

on a brighter note....

my elder brother got married!

so happy for him..!

at his solemnisation ceremony, i was reminded of what he told me bitterly years ago after an extremely ugly breakup with his first girlfriend:

"I love you forever? it's an immature and empty promise! 'forever' is infinite.. it's not yet the end of time, how would you know you can hold on to it..?"

but somehow at the ceremony, God whispered to me that my brother is a blessed man..

although he can't promise that his love can last forever, he has found the special someone who he wants to try his very best to love for the rest of his life..

that lucky bugger!!

Gawd! can it please be my turn already..?!? dammit

2011-07-18T20:08:00.002+08:00

i feel so lost.. who is lying? i've no idea.. they each have their own version of the story.. so drastically different..

i can't trust them.. they are not rational at all.. i do not dare to place my faith in them..

whatever emotional state they are in, it is their own damn fault.. don't try to blame it on me..

im not as happy as i appear to be..

i have a huge emotional baggage..

... my family

clearing my head

2011-06-29T05:55:00.002+08:00

i went to catch transformers with a friend and ended up sleeping in the cinema.. terrible yes but i cant help it.. haha, guess it's a combination of a not-so-interesting plot and me still being jet-lag after my Tokyo-LA flt..

the catnap resulted in me being ridiculously wide awake upon reaching home.. was up the whole night and now that it's 6am, i think i'll give up trying to sleep and go for a morning run instead..

on a side note, i had the chance of meeting a lot of newly weds or married-couple-to-be on flts recently.. even though they are complete strangers, i genuinely feel happy and excited for them.. yet at the same time, i feel envious and sorry for myself.. oh well..

shall go sweat it out to clear my head =]

getting in touch with the world again..

2011-05-24T03:26:00.005+08:00

i think i've finally stop feeling sad/bitter and ready to face the world again!

a little melodramatic yes..

the past few months, i haven't been really happy when i was alone by myself.. i craved for the constant attention and companionship which i've gotten use to when i was in a relationship.. and ever since i became single, i turn to my friends, and get immensely disappointed when my unrealistic expectations were not met..

somehow that led to me putting up a wall around myself as i write off people one by one.. kinda twisted huh?

i know what was happening and i constantly tell myself that it was just the temporal bitterness speaking and my friends actually truly care for me.. there were times when i succeed and other times when i fail and i snapped at the people who care about me..

most of the times i'll just shut it up inside, dont tell anyone, and cry to myself when it is too much for me to bear..

thankfully, time heals all wounds..

i don't really know when was the turning point but all of a sudden, im happy and motivated again!

in my work.. in the relationships i have with my family and friends..

i'm doing my best to revive my social circle and look forward to meet new people!

i do believe God allows things to happen for a reason and that's why every cloud HAS a silver lining..

a while back, i was holding dearly to the silver linings out of despair.. but now i look out for them with hope and anticipation..

all smiley again! =D

scared

2011-05-07T02:34:00.006+08:00

recently i started thinking about my job.. is this really what i want? am i happy with how things are at present? the fact that i am thinking about it reflects that i've doubts and that's really unsettling..

i am scared.

i don't where this fear comes from but as i sit in my dubai hotel room i felt i just have to pen this down..

my life comes to a standstill everytime i don my uniform and fly off somewhere.. and it resumes only when i'm back.. which can be anything from a few hours to over a week.. anybody i meet on flight are just people that i'll probably never see again.. and even if i do, they'll never know who i really am..

in short, they don't really make an impact in my life in any way.. i am just FSS Chua to them..

i feel that my life is slipping away just like that..

in my private life, being single means there's nothing new or much progress to look forward to in the relationship department.. in my work life, the characteristic of it is that it's easy money.. yes, it can take its toil on your health if you are not careful but if you are used to it, you actually have a lot of free time to bum about..

unfortunately more than half of that free time is when i am overseas.. which is during the "life coming to standstill" period.. in other words it goes down the trash..

i can deal if im in a happy relationship and flying OR i stay single but in a job that i find challenging..

however, i don't think i can handle not having a goal or something to look forward to BOTH in my work AND private life..

i feel so lost..

maybe it's time for me to put away my kebaya and look for greener pastures..

Run

2011-05-02T19:03:00.004+08:00

i heard of this song before a long time back but i just never got the title until yesterday at a friend's place.. i love the song.. it's so bittersweet..

this is by Leona lewis

this is the original one by snow patrol

RUN

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess

Houston

2011-04-27T19:41:00.004+08:00

i woke up at 4am today in houston.. which is the usual case in US stations.. (yesterday i woke at 3am)

it's the 6th day of this 9day trip.. i'm actually quite pleased with myself that i managed to survive thus far without a laptop.. been reading avidly and hitting the gym quite a bit..

i brought 2 murakami books with me and they are wonderful! i've finished 1 and is currently halfway thru the other.. crap.. need to ration the pages else it won't last till moscow..

murakami and me at cheesecake factory

is this shade nicer? toy camera effect =D

although i didn't do any hardcore shopping for this flight, the usual cosmetic and toiletries are enough to put a hole in the pocket.. jane iredale make-up, kiehl's, KMS shampoo etc.. sigh.. but it's cheaper in US and it only make sense to buy a lot at one go.. still haven't figure what i'm gonna do the day i stop flying and have to pay an exorbitant sum to continue using these products..

on a brighter note, i bought a new lime green bikini frm A&F!

guess the runs and crunches paid off a little

when i went for my jog on the clear day (yesterday), i went to the concierge for a recommended route.. there were four routes and i chose the longest which is approximately 7.2 miles.. i thought 7.2 sounds pretty manageable ~~which i later realised was temporary insanity and i went to the hospital for a brain scan~~..

the highlight of the day was when i missed a turn, got lost and circled the 3 mile loop part of the route T-W-I-C-E..

long story short, i almost died at the end of the 10 plus miles jog.. and as i'm blogging i checked out the online unit convertor.. turns out

10 mile = 16km

damn! no wonder my legs are aching like mad..

okay, it ten past 7 already! time for breakfast buffet!

pitter patter-ing

2011-04-22T16:04:00.004+08:00

don't you just love the smell of wet earth before it rains? the cool wind that rustle the leaves and finally the pitter patter-ing of the droplets..

all bright and cheery again!

2011-04-22T13:17:00.007+08:00

At the end of the day, there's nothing like a bit of indulgence in one's spending power to lift the mood~

heehee..

semi-permanent brow package $540

nike singlet $39

lace tops $13 each

killer heels from Pedro $90ish

Murakami's books 18.50 each

Loreal eyeliner 3 for price of 2
$18.90 each

okie, no more shopping for the next few weeks!!

meanwhile i'll try to start reading strait times everyday!

and go tidy my rm.. just might be able to convince my dad to let me keep a cat yet.. he's always complaining that i'm too messy for a pet.. =<

oh goody.. offday on 2June

2011-04-21T22:12:00.006+08:00

when the May roster was released, i noticed something right away.. i've ATDO on 2 June..

for the first time since i joined the golden bird company, i am spending my birthday in singapore..

the timing's a little ironic isn't it?

i don't know what to do or whether i should do anything about it at all.. will anyone even care?

i think i just might change the offday away rather than risk the possibility of spending my birthday alone..

and yeah, im currently stuck in some shitty depressive rut which appeared from nowhere.. maybe i finally had too much processed aircraft food..

another one of my rants

2011-04-20T19:59:00.006+08:00

yes, as the title suggests.. this is gonna be another one of my usual rants for the sole purpose of cartharsis..
(you are warned, you may not wish to continue reading)

the past few weeks i really have a lot of time in singapore.. too much time in fact.. i feel immensely lonely =<

having so much time mulling about serves to remind me that my single status contributes partly to that.. you no longer have the special someone who will always be gamed for whatever you have in mind.. the constant companionship..

dammit, i want a boyfriend! hmmpf!

but that's another problem that's giving me a headache.. i have already see this coming a few years back.. i know that if i were to breakup with mingwei, i'll definitely be single for the longest time (if not forever)..

why?

well, it's because the type of guys that i like is not easy to find in my current environment.. i don't want to date a crew and that already eliminated 99.9% of the men i meet.. the other 0.1% (if i even meet them), i may not necessarily have chemistry with them because i've like 683524 other things that i look for in a guy as well..

hmm, am i too picky? now that i think out loud.....

great, i think i am.

*shrugs* better get used to spinsterhood now.. FML..

and my friends.. sigh..

those people that i don't want to meet up wont stop bugging me.. others that i want to meet up, half of them are not in singapore and the other half doesn't call me up unless i initiate it.. what kind of useless friends i have right?

whatever happened to friendship requiring two hands to clap?

don't ask me to go get a hobby or read a book or occupy myself with some stupid activity.. i AM LONELY! not BORED!!

i think im a relatively simple girl.. all i want is to marry young, have kids before 30 and devote my time to the family (amongst other things like having an orchard postal code, lamborghini, a walk-in closet etc)..

yes, laugh all you want but being able to achieve that will make me very very happy.. i mean the un-bracketed stuff although the bracketed ones will be nice too..

but the first step of finding Mr Right is so hard.. my cynicism and picky-ness with men doesn't help either..

im feeling so discouraged and cheesed off with life now..

sad.

sleepless in SG

2011-04-18T01:27:00.002+08:00

i can't sleep! did a bangkok turn where it was full-load for both sectors but i do not feel even the slightest bit of fatigue..

the silver lining is that a driving lesson slot appeared at 1plus in the morning!

yay! i can finally booked my (second & hopefully final =< ) driving test!

G.R.U.M.P.Y

2011-04-16T23:34:00.002+08:00

it's a saturday night and im home painting my nails for flight tomorrow while all my friends are out playing.. how depressing is that??

second day of menses is giving me a bit of mood swing.. feeling grouchy and melancholic at the same time.. the fact that im aching all over doesn't help improve my mood either..

the bodyaches started after i touchdown from london.. and shit it's damn uncomfortable!! it's not a series of sharp pain but a dull throb that vibrates through the body.. it hurts especially at the lower back and my left arm..

basically, it felt like as if i just rock-climbed.. either that or i was ran over by a truck..

at the same time it feels also like the aches you get when you are too 'heaty'?

now here comes the weird part.. i haven't done any form of sport/exercise, was not involved in any accident or ate anything really heaty for the past week..!

I suspect it could be the yellow fever immunisation jab?

here's what i found when i googled the vaccination's side effect..

Yellow Fever Vaccinations

The yellow fever vaccine is an attenuated, live-virus preparation of the 17D strain of yellow fever virus grown in leucosis-free chick embryos. A single dose correctly given confers immunity in 100% of recipients, and immunity persists for at least 10 years. Re-immunisation is currently recommended after 10 years.

Side Effects

Reports of serious side effects are extremely rare and generally include fever, headache, and muscle ache. The risks of vaccination are not zero and the current best estimates of the risk from yellow fever vaccination are:

Mild Side Effects

Most people will get a slight sore arm

2-10% may feel tired, headache, muscle aches, fever for 24 hours starting 3-9 days after the vaccine

1% need to curtail regular activities

More Serious Side Effects

1 in 130,000 will get immediate hypersensitivity – rash, itching faint or asthma – this is why you need to wait 30 minutes in the clinic

0.09-2.5 per million will get inflammation of multiple organs e.g. lungs, kidney, liver, spleen, skin, blood stream

1 in 8 million will get encephalitis ( inflammation of the brain )

yep.. thanks for "warning" me about the jab, my stupid company!! feeling a bit pissed..

don't you think it's a tad unethical for the company to send its employees for the vaccinations and not warn them about the side effects?

and i was most definitely not asked to wait in the clinic for 30mins.. i was kicked out of it asap! hmmpf!!

iphone app: Camera +

2011-04-12T07:07:00.003+08:00

A friend recommended me an iphone app recently called the camera+ and it's awesome!! downloaded it right before my London flight and tried it out there.. a couple of pics that i took..

snapped a a pic of my skirt on the crew transport
to hotel, the colours came out really well..

Jeremy after a few glasses of chardonnay.. hahaha..!
nice effect from the edit

the app is really cool.. it allows you to take decent quality pics & edit them immediately after.. i must say i'm pretty impressed..

the greatest love that anyone could ever know..

2011-04-07T01:14:00.004+08:00

i was going through my old blog posts when i came across this song again in one of my posts back in 2008.. i couldn't help smiling as i listen to the song on YouTube because i got reminded once again...

.. how much God loves me!

Till I See You

The greatest love that anyone could ever know
That overcame the cross and grave to find my soul
And till I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You

With all I am I'll live to see Your kingdom come
And in my heart I pray You'd let Your will be done
And till I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You

I will live to love You
I will live to bring You praise
I will live a child in awe of You

You are a voice that called the universe to be
You are the whisper in my heart that speaks to me
And till I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in you

You alone are God of all
You alone are worthy Lord
And with all I am my soul will bless Your name

Nightmare i had..

2011-04-06T21:38:00.006+08:00

after i came back from annoucement training at STC, i felt really hungry so i went for a really heavy dinner downstairs with my mom.. she had a plate of economic rice while i whacked a whole pot of claypot chicken rice by myself..

in conclusion i over-ate.. sigh..

ANYWAY.. with all the carbo in me, i got really lethargic and woozy.. considering that i only had 6 hours of sleep per night for the past 2 days, it wasn't very surpising.. i can barely function properly with 8 hours a night!

initially, i was just rolling around on my bed playing with my Iphone.. before i knew it, i was knocked out..

in the dream i was standing outside a hotel.. for holiday or work, i have no idea.. i only knew i was going to stay there..

i knew something was amiss.

every thing around me had a slight blur to it.. i don't know how to describe it.. it's like when you drink too much or when you are really sick, your vision gets blurred? but i feel perfectly fine and the only thing that wasn't blur was the car i just drove up in..

things just got weirder as i walked towards the hotel.. every time i looked away, something about the building always change, when i turned back.. the poster slogan is different or the building's interior through the glass main doors is now another colour or the few curtains that were drawn opened are now all closed and vice versa..

as with all protagonists, i was too stupid to turn and run away in the opposite direction screaming my head off..

i ENTERED the damn hotel.. genius move on my part..

when i entered the lobby i started climbing the stairs round the corner.. i don't know what the hell happened to checking in and all the shit.. and i most certainly didn't see any lift in sight..

when i was nearing the 4th floor somehow i saw (don't ask me how, x-ray vision?) one of my ex coming down from the 7th floor.. i remembered he was wearing a purple tshirt and tapered berms.. we waved (again i don't know how we could have seen each other)..

i was really relieved and comforted that i bumped into him and i hurried up the stairs as things were starting to creep me out big time.. and i wanted to make sense of things..

remember i said i could somehow 'see' that he was coming down from the 7th floor even though we were at different levels?

well, as i reached the 5th floor, he was suddenly standing in front of me.. i didn't see him pass through the 6th floor.. he just skipped it and immediately appeared on the 5th..

that was when i realized he was a ghost... ....

F*&%..!!! BASKET!!

as i turned to run he reached out to me and his hands went through my shoulders and it ached like mad.. i tried fighting him off and... .....

... the bloody tele-marketeer calling me on my Iphone woke me up!

on hindsight, i think my shoulders really did ache back in the dream.. the muscles there have been aching since gym yesterday.. hahaha..!

that's it..! no more snoozing after heavy meals.. they give me nightmares..

low on happy vibes

2011-04-05T02:11:00.002+08:00

although i just came back from a holiday, i feel down and empty.. feeling depress over the same old stuff i guess.. will i ever get over it? maybe it's the lack of exercise from my 1 week of sickness & redang after..

i must kickstart the exercise regime again soon!

i'm sorely in need of endorphins.... sigh..

Take caution when it comes to love

2011-03-11T13:01:00.004+08:00

i was out with a guy i just met when i heard this song.. we were smoking shisha along arab street after dinner..

initially i couldn't really catch the lyrics except for the repetition of the word "impossible".. but i really liked the tune so i checked it out when i got home..

and i really identify with the line "Someone told me I should take caution when it comes to love..".

it's true isn't it?

the last relationship has taken quite a bit out of me.. i feel emotionally tired.. it's like, i want to settle down one day and since husbands do not drop down from the sky and are certainly not delievered by stork express, i have to meet new people but at the same time i'm terribly sick of disappointments..

sigh.. i really did take caution when it comes to love.. i did! but apparently my own effort wasn't good enough..

deep down i know why..

from the start, there were so many times when God told me it wasn't a good idea but i chose to ignore Him because i was being petulant.. i don't know why i was so silly to not listen to Him..

i don't want to take charge anymore.. God, You can take over..

IMPOSSIBLE

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did, I did

And you were strong and I was not
My illusion, my mistake
I was careless, I forgot
I did

And now when all is done
There is nothing to say
You have gone and so effortlessly
You have won
You can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof tops
Write it on the sky line
All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

Falling out of love is hard
Falling for betrayal is worst
Broken trust and broken hearts
I know, I know

Thinking all you need is there
Building faith on love and words
Empty promises will wear
I know, I know
And now when all is gone
There is nothing to say
And if you're done with embarrassing me
On your own you can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof tops
Write it on the sky line
All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible!
Ooh impossible (yeah yeah)

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof tops
Write it on the sky line
All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did

when at work..

2011-02-19T23:46:00.003+08:00

the transit time was quite long in barcelona for the ground staff to prepare the aircraft for the flight back to milan.. i was bored so i whipped out the slr to take some pics! hehe..

standing at the aerobridge at barcelona airport

stepped out of the aircraft to take pic of the golden bird too! heehee

it was a really tiring flight back to singapore from milan.. business class was filled to the brim and i couldn't sleep at all during the rest period.. suffice to say i was zombified..

but as i exited the aircraft and this sight (below) greeted me, i was reminded once again how much i love my job.. =]

aircrafts lining up on a lazy thursday morning

i'm proud to be part of the golden bird company..!

slacking in Milano

2011-02-14T02:44:00.011+08:00

first day in Milan and the weather is crap i tell you

well, at least i came here with a lovely set of crew so it's not that bad.. =]

after a 3 hour nap, we met for lunch and grocery shopped a bit.. the rest of the afternoon was spent relaxing in my room, listening to music and editing the backlog of photos..

tomorrow is valentine's day and i'll probably spend it indoors as it's drizzling so badly it doesn't make sense to make a trip anywhere outside much less florence..

sigh.. what a bore..

anyway i'll leave you to some of my favourite shots i edited today!

enjoy..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

jer, april and i in ion's toilet

should try taking pics from this angle more often.. hehe.. it makes the head looks big! like those puppy toys with over-sized heads

xmas decor at MBS

in esplanade

i love this silhouette shot

bored..

2011-02-12T01:00:00.005+08:00

Recently i haven't been doing much except going for flights, driving lessons and enjoying the quiet time i have both outstation and when at home..

i haven't really been actively making plans with any friends either.. they'll ask me out and i'll meet up with one or two every time i'm back in singapore.. the rest i'll turn down.. i've cut down on partying too..

it's really therapeutic and relaxing but it does get lonely at times.. i hope i'm nt narrowing my social circle unintentionally.. it's already small enough..

tomorrow evening i'll be heading to milan.. wondering if i should make a trip down to florence on valentine's day.. i imagine there'll be interesting scenery to shoot..

what would i do if i do not have my camera & pics to keep me occupied?

hmm, see how it goes.. =]

a place of my own

2011-02-02T00:39:00.003+08:00

i remembered what i always told myself years back whenever i get upset with my family.

"don't be sad, don't give up! study hard, get a decent paying job and move out!"

that mantra never failed to calm me down when the unhappiness becomes too overwhelming at times and distracts me from revisions or exams.. it gave me hope to continue and finish my studies..

now that i'm earning a decent income, i realised how unwise it is to move out to stay in singapore even if i can do so comfortably.. money is flowing out to the landlords and i can't even call that place my own..

i'm too practical to move out and waste that money just because i don't want to stay under my parent's roof..

how many more years must i wait before i can save enough to buy a place of my own?

not in the near future i think.

i feel so depress.

the city that never fails to perk me up..

2011-01-28T15:28:00.004+08:00

just touched down in London and i can already feel my mood lifting! this city is just so awesome! love it to bits..

on the flight here i had a heart-to-heart talk with francesca and that did wonders for the mood swing that has been plaguing me the past few weeks..

i guess at the end of the day, what i really need was sincere empathy..

before the flight i was so sick of all the empty generic comfort words that others have offered.. either that or they danced around the topic and try to change subject to frivolous matter to 'cheer me up'..

as a result i ended up keeping everything inside and became unwilling to share my thoughts with anyone, when more than anything, i just want someone who cares enough to put him/herself in my shoes to lend me a ear while i pour my heart out..

things are starting to fall nicely into place already and i look forward to the weekend ahead with my wonderful friends in this favourite city of mine!

2011-01-25T03:28:00.002+08:00

my God, i sound like a desperate spinster who's being left on the shelf.. yucks

storm in a teacup

2011-01-25T02:31:00.006+08:00

i felt like crap since i left for my paris flight.. feeling very frustrated with the mood swing.. feeling unhappy and unloved and all the cliche stuff..

now don't begin with the God-loves-you-and-so does-your-family-and-friends shit..

i know this is temporary and it'll blow over.. but still..

it feels really really horrible to be alone in a hotel room with only online streamed tv series for company in my current state.. i don't feel like crying or anything.. instead i feel this ridiculous angst against everybody who's happy..

everything's not going my way!

even the strawberries i bought to snack on became moldy in LESS then twelve hours.. what the hell..??

stupid fruits..

after all the meta-thinking, i suspect this is a bad case of super-belated-post-breakup-mood-swing..

i'm bitter that i'm single again, i feel lonely, i'm pissed at how hard it is to find a suitable candidate who i can love and would love me back..

in short, i feel pathetic for being such an emotional wreck..

i hate this alien feeling of vulnerability..!

i want it to be over already..!

i want the day to arrive when i'll look back and laugh at this post and myself, thinking that this little episode was nothing more than just a storm in a teacup.

where can i find...

2011-01-21T13:51:00.003+08:00

Where can I find a woman like that
And I'm lookin' in the mirror all the time,
Wondering what she don't see in me
I've been funny,
I've been cool with the lines
Ain't that the way
Love supposed to be
Tell me, where can I find a woman like that

Is it just me or there are other singles out there who empathize with the few lines above? my looks are not that shabby, i think i'm reasonably smart (at times), sociable and possess a fun personality..

in short, an arguably attractive individual.

so...

WHERE IS MY MAN ALREADY??

First ladies' night of 2011

2011-01-14T00:47:00.004+08:00

Yesterday after touching down from auckland, i immediately washed up and jumped into bed.. it's gonna be a looooong day ahead.. advance theory test in the evening and more importantly, meeting up with two of my favourite girl friends to party!

Jerlene brought her polaroid & i brought my canon slr! =D

We started off with a bottle of riesling at Vintry wine bar at clarke quay.. we chose the one that we always serve in business class and it tasted absolutely delicious with its sweet aftertaste! after taking a million and one pictures i dragged both of them into Attica before they got lazy and call it a night..

there's this very interesting drink called traffic lights that you can order there, or more accurately - 'drinks', since it comes in a huge ice bucket of 18 colourful vodka shooters.. this was followed by sex on the beach and jaegar bombs.. we would have enjoyed ourselves more if the caucasians at the table beside had stop bothering us and acting all obnoxious..

you can tell that they expect you to be excited that they are chatting you up simply because they are blonde.. wth.. did they just got off the east india company ship or something?

halfway through, we decided to take a break and head off to Pump Room to have a bottle of merlot and chill.. the band playing that night wasn't Jive Talking but they were pretty decent too..

the bottle of wine was finished enthusiastically when a middle-aged indian lawyer (so he claims) plonked himself beside me and tried to ask me out for dinner.. we made our escape back into Attica and spent the rest of the night at the dance floor where i was officially "getting married the next day" so the guys will be turned off..

Most get the 'message' from the lame excuse and the rest are drunk enough to believe, either way it worked beautifully.. =]

mandy, jerlene & me

it was really nice spending a carefree evening behaving like little girls for a change, and giggling at every single thing..!

A penny worth of thought after touchdown

2011-01-12T08:28:00.005+08:00

the flight i just came back from was the most tiring one i had in a while..

on the way up, of the 4 non-ranking crew in economy, other than me, 2 were operating their first solo and another just 3 months flying.. suffice to say, with the full load, the rest of us (the leading steward, chief steward and me) worked like mad..

although i was in business class on the flight back, 3 business class crew (including myself) still have to go down and help as the service cannot possibly finish in time for landing if we were not to do so.. at the top of descent, we were still collecting meal trays and serving the last few passengers..

yes, it was that bad..

thank goodness we managed to finish everything in time and of course, the passengers didn't notice anything was amissed at all..

as usual..

what was interesting was the conversation i had with the in-flight supervisor during the lull period.. there was this short period when the weather got quite bad and we were instructed to strap in at the crew seat for the moment.. as he sat across me, we started chatting and the topics veered from relationships, to one's outlook on life, to his family and other random things.. at the end, he commented that there is something very interesting about me..

he observed that although i am friendly, i do not flirt with guys onboard.. usually female crew would flirt with him (i guess he's handsome for his age) or their direct supervisors hoping to get away with murder or just to enjoy the attention from the opposite sex..

i replied that i think my work is decent enough for me not to resort to that.. and also why would i want to attract men who like me only because i flirt with them?

he smiled and told me to keep it up..

seriously! i have enough of such superficial trash.. i want to look for someone who's interested to get to know the individual that i am and not those who are just infactuated by the exterior..

where can i find such a person?

who truly loves me for who i am?

i feel so jaded..

1st post of 2011

2011-01-02T17:24:00.004+08:00

went to church today and slept a third of the service away.. hehe.. but i'm still glad i made it to the first service of the year..

2010 has been an interesting year! that was what i thought as i countdown with close friends at pump room on new year's eve and drank till early new year morning..

Me and April at pump =]

it ended on such an odd note.. a refreshing change to single life after more than 2 years, acquaintances that i was never very close with became cherished friends, the alternating love-hate relationship i have with my job..

the past year hasn't been exactly all smooth and cotton candy, but it wasn't shabby either.. it definitely has been very eventful and memorable..

pastor prince urged us to make 3 wishes to God today.. i did.. shall write it down somewhere and pin it to my noticeboard..

i really look forward to the rest of the year and what God has installed for me..

Happy New Year everyone! God Bless..!

repulsed

2010-12-22T00:04:00.004+08:00

you insinuated that i'm unfillial you, asshole. when it's you who have failed me and not the other way round.

i hate you.

2010-12-20T20:51:00.003+08:00

sometimes although you've already made the decision to move on, decided that being angry won't solve any problem, the brain just doesn't work that way..

at least mine doesn't.

which is really annoying.

i get mood swings, feels sad and depressed out of the blue and finds it hard-pressed to smile genuinely to anyone.

too many arguments and unhappiness have occurred in the past month. all the negativity is getting to me without me realizing it..

this is such an inconvenience!

2010-12-15T19:55:00.002+08:00

Okay, enough of emo-ing and feeling sorry for myself. I'm feeling disgusted enough already.

As luke puts it "focus on your short-term goals while refining your long-term goals".

I shall do just that. =]

trying out my new toys..

2010-11-13T20:12:00.002+08:00

couldn't wait to try out the new lens and tripod i bought.. so on checkout day, i mounted my camera with the new portrait lens and took a pic of myself before leaving the room..

and I LOVE IT!

so happy with my purchase.. *blissful sigh*

retail therapy

2010-11-11T20:47:00.010+08:00

to all sweet people who re-affirmed that they read my blog, i really appreciate your kind words.. they make me smile =]

anyway on this hongkong-san francisco flight.. i pampered myself to a bit of shopping..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

San Francisco
Abercrombie&Fitch

Payton Plaid Shirt
USD50

Nicole Plaid Shirt
USD50

Renee Hoodie
USD60

Kielh's

Midnight Recovery Concentrate
USD42

Cryste Marine Firming Eye Treatment
USD36

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HongKong
ManShing, MongKok

Manfrotto 7301YB
HKD1000

ES 50mm f/1.8
HKD690

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

these are the main purchases that made my day! of course there's still a random lens hood here or a big meal there that nipped away at the purse strings.. opps..

no more shopping for the next few flights..

Farewell, Mrs Lee Kuan Yew

2010-10-07T13:55:00.002+08:00

&amp;amp;lt;a href="http://video.msn.com/?mkt=en-sg&amp;amp;amp;playlist=videoByUuids:uuids:38111fb1-c941-4016-9e3e-72c1cf2ccaf8&amp;amp;amp;showPlaylist=true&amp;amp;amp;from=IV2_en-sg_news_singapore&amp;amp;amp;fg=gtlv2" target="_new" title="Crowds gather along roads to bid final farewell to Mdm Kwa Geok Choo"&amp;amp;gt;Video: Crowds gather along roads to bid final farewell to Mdm Kwa Geok Choo&amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;gt;

i was watching the eulogies given by the family members of the late Mrs LKY last night over Channel News Asia and was chatting with haresh about her when we went for supper..

she really was such an amazing woman who had influenced and touched so many lives..

when it's my turn to pass away one day, i want to leave with my family having wonderful fond memories of me too.. knowing that although i'm no longer physically around, i continue to live on in my future children and grandchildren..

all in a flight's work

2010-10-06T23:15:00.004+08:00

just came back from a flight from amsterdam this morning.. had mixed feelings regarding the flight..

i worked with the chief and the chemistry wasn't there which was unexpected because we had quite a bit to chat about when we were outstation.. on the sector back, there was a bit of a friction and that makes the 12 hour flight with full load in economy class seems a lot longer.. felt a bit depressed over that..

on the bright side, i helped shape the first SIA flight experience of this middle aged dutch man who looks to be in his late fifties.. he was sitting at my aisle and on his way to the Philippines to visit his filipino wife and kids..

nearing mid-flight during the lull period, i started chatting with him and was really happy to hear him gushing about his maiden experience on our flight so far as compared to the many others he had with different airlines..

i think passengers have no idea how heartening and encouraging it is for us (or me at least) to hear them expressing their gratitude.. it makes the unhappines over the occasional work friction (or unavoidable bitchiness) between colleagues go away..

anyway that dutch gentleman was really delighted and wrote a complimentary letter for us.. the thought that was put into penning the letter and the big smile on his face at the end of the flight made it all worthwhile..

time to go back home, crash and sleep..

next flight, jakarta nightstop!

cute cat i saw peering out of a window

A380.. and before you know it, i'm holding 3 fleets!

2010-09-15T11:04:00.002+08:00

yep, i'm finally gonna be trained for the biggest bird amongst the many birds that the 'Golden Bird' company owns..

i started out with Boeing 777 fleet, was trained for the Airbus A330 fleet 2 months back and next month i'll be trained for the A380 fleet! 3 is the maximum no. of fleets a crew can hold at any one time..

feeling a little nervous about it and yet excited at the same time.. being trained for 380 means that i get to go London (one of my favourite city!) more often.. at the same time, other 380-only destinations like Paris (cheap supply of yummy foie gras) and Zurich will be open to me again!

it really is a bummer that on the my first 380 solo flight next month, there is a certain supervisory crew onboard that's famous for being mean.. sigh, i'm keeping my fingers crossed and praying really hard that i'll not become her target practice..

wish me luck! =D

looks very pretty right?

big new plane + many excitable passengers = hell lot of work!

post wisdom tooth surgery

2010-09-08T04:40:00.004+08:00

the surgery was alright but it's what come after that is nightmarish.. soft diet!!!! noooo..

ate oatmeal and drank soup for the whole day until dinner with jerlene when i had porridge and claypot eggplant at imperial treasure.. after that went to KPO with the usual gang and i just couldn't resist nibbling at the light bites.. calamari, chicken bits etc.. pretty pathetic.. didn't really drink as i was on antibiotics and i dun wanna risk mixing..

it was a slow night with me chitchatting the first half of the night and stoning the other half at pump room.. i realised that i really dislike noisy places when i'm sober.. but it was nice being in the company of friends who i hvn't caught up with for so long..

i wonder how long 'll my cheek be swollen for.. the thread from the stitches is drivng me crazy.. just like how annoying it feels when u hv a piece of meat wedge in between ur teeth and u can't get it out?
i think the most miserable thing that can happen is when ur diet is restricted!! feeling so sorry for myself.. sigh..

half of my face resembles the chipmunk's.. charming ya?

social vampires! Eeee..

2010-09-06T07:33:00.002+08:00

this must be my most anti-social flight.. like ever!

remember an older post i had on 'social vampires'?

random individuals who just somehow suck the 'social abilities' out of you? they can be anyone from anywhere.. when you come near one, for unfathomable reasons, you just can't think of anything witty to say and whatever they say u find it so uninteresting u want to yawn and fall asleep?

well, i just had the most unfortunate opportunity to fly with one whole big group of them!! 11 days no less.. it was a nightmare..

but do not be mistaken that they are horrible mean people.. in fact i think some of you would really enjoy hanging out with them.. the problem does not lie with them..

it's me.. i'm weird.. sometimes some people just bring out the anti-social side of me..

anyway the whole bunch cliqued REALLY well! i was the only crew who disappeared most of the time once the aircraft touchdown for the whole trip.. they probably could tell i that i was avoiding them but i don't really care..

i really did try hanging out with them! went out on the first clear day in houston with them to the factory outlet.. i find the whole experience so........ i can only describe it as the complete antithesis of 'fun'..

i dislike the company so much that i spent the next 2 clear days by myself reading my story books.. yes, i slack the days away finishing 2 novels in my room by myself on one of the most coveted flight

no words can aptly convey the sense of relief i felt at the end of the flight..

THANK GOD IT'S OVER!!!

post holiday blues

2010-08-25T00:02:00.014+08:00

just came back from a 2 week holiday with mom and believe me when i say it was the most testing 2 weeks i had in YEARS..

even when i have lousy flights, it can't last more then a week..

i do not want to go into details, shall just summarised as me not being used to shoulder so much responsibility for another human being and not being as patient as i thought i am..

frankly i feel really drained after the holiday, not well rested at all.. i think going back to work will actually be more relaxing.. kinda disappointed with the euro tour.. at least i learnt more about myself and my mom i suppose..

i need some time to cool down.. the 2 weeks of pent-up angst is still getting to me even though i have came back for 2 days already..

one of the few things that cheered me up was the photo-taking during the trip..

HIGHLIGHTS:

London

**********

exquisite translucent teacups in British Museum

stonehenge revisited
(lazy to crop off the sign & blue t-shirt)

City of Bath

Paris

**********

Eiffel Tower at night

one of Notre Dame's gargoyles staring eternally

Eiffel Tower in the day

Zurich

**********

the Rhone Glacier

Jungfraujoch

lovely City of Lucern

Kapellbrucke

An amazing love story

2010-08-06T00:22:00.002+08:00

I spent a wonderful day out with mingwei today.. he took the day off to run errands with me in the morning and we hung out in town from lunch onwards..

we had a yummiylicious japanese steak lunch at ngee ann city, caught Inception at cineleisure and then had pork katsu dinner at orchard ion.. naturally both of us were exhausted by the end of the day..

as i left some stuff at his place, i had to run back to his place to pack first before heading home.. before long, we were saying our goodbyes at the taxi stand near his place, and i hopped into the cab..

the small talk started after i gave a giant-unlady-like yawn at the back.. the malay cabbie chuckled and said, "tired ar, girl? i'm tired too man.. been working since morning.."

the conversation just flowed very easily from there..

i told him about my date with mingwei and said how nice it will be if one can return home to his or her most loved one everyday.. and since i have conservative parents, that can only happen in a marriage..

the cabbie wondered whether the thrill of seeing each other would wear off then.. i replied that in my opinion, it's not about excitement or anything.. instead, it's about the simple joy of basking in the loved one's presence and enjoying his or her company..

that was when he passed me a framed photograph that he stashed in front at the driver's seat.. it was the picture of a smiling malay lady in her early thirties.. in the same frame, there was a smaller passport photo of her.. both pictures look dated..

'your wife?' i asked and he nodded replying, "i'm married but i'm single too."

"eh... huh?" was my confused reply.

"let me give you a bigger clue," he said "yes, i'm married but i am now single, and will remain single.. forever."

Oh.

it dawned on me then.. his wife has passed away..

"aiyo, uncle.. i'm so sorry for your loss! you must missed her a lot.." i blurted.

"yeah, i know her for so long of course i'll miss her.. you want to guess how long i knew her before we got married?"

"eh, 10 years?"

"no la, so short!"

anyway it turned out to be a grand total of 20 years.. (my God! that's freaking long!!)

and while driving onto PIE, he began his story...

they first met when they were in primary school.. he was in primary 6 and she was in primary 4.. she was the monitor in the library and as he found her cute, he often hung out there to 'kajiao' her.. they then spent a lot of time together in the library and school bus (maybe they stay near each other?) and eventually they became an item..

they were together for years.. all the way through secondary school, polytechnic and he joined the workforce first.. the problem came when she joined the workforce as well..

when she was a student and he was working, she was able to make the effort to go meet him when he knocks off as she has time on her hands.. now that she has started work herself, both of them does not have the time to meet up.. it didn't help that he works as an engineer at Jurong Island and does shift work..

insecurity and jealousy soon set in and they broke off.. they stopped all contact and went their own ways..

it was a full year and 2months (he still remembers the length of time!) before their path crossed again at the wedding of a mutual friend..

the friend wanted to play matchmaker and purposely put them at the same table and cajoled both to go bowling after.. as the friend wanted to play pair (on purpose i suppose), he was made to team up with her.. that was followed by supper till the wee hours and both of them finally started talking..

they shared about what they've been up to for the past one year plus..both of them had their fair share of rebound relationships but they just didn't work out.. she then asked him in a hurt tone why he never called her since the breakup..

that was the turning point of the conversation.. they started re-analysing why they broke up, what were they upset about before, what was the core problem of their relationship then..

long story short, they were engaged 8 months after.

it was wonderful and the marriage was blissful.. because they known each other for 2 decades, she knows him inside out and took care of him very well.. his favourite dish, his habits, all his likes and dislikes..

when they had their first child, he asked her whether she wants to be a housewife as he was earning a comfortable income of 6k plus.. she declined, saying that she wants to have the financial freedom..

he then gave her a card and told her that aside from setting money aside for the household and car installments, she can spend on whatever she likes.. since then, he never regretted as she managed the household finance superbly..

when the second child came, he offered to hire a domestic helper to lighten her load but she refused.. firstly, she wants to bring up the kids herself and secondly, she thinks it'll put a cramp in their sexlife..

apparently she would walk around in her sexy lingerie when she wants her man to come to her.. she can't do that if they have a maid unless she wanna scandalized the poor girl.. (at this point, although i felt that's a little too much information, i thought it's so sweet that they are still so romantic and in love with each other after marriage)

the tragedy struck shortly after the second child.. according to the him, she had some complications during childbirth from blood loss that led to their dicovery of her contracting Lupus*.. she became bedridden and lost her ability to function.

* Lupus is a disease where the immune system becomes overactive. it it most common in young females (teens, 20s and 30s)

Despite advices from concerned friends and family on getting a full-time nurse to look after his wife, he chose to quit his well-paying job to look after her himself.. he knows that she would be upset to have a stranger in the house, seeing her naked when helping her to bath, cleaning up after her and such..

for 9months, his everyday routine consisted of sending the kids to school, bathing her and clothing her when he gets back, go to work, come back to feed her, go back to work and pick up the kids..

(i didn't ask whether this is when he started driving a cab because of the flexible hours)

anyway, she became depressed and would often ask him whether he still loves her? whether he has a woman outside when he goes to work? whether the kids will be okay?

he always reassures her that she is the only one he loves and she does not have worry about anything else because he will take care of everything..

before she left, he promised her that he will never remarry.

it has been almost 3 years since and he is still as resolute on that fact.

by now, we have exited BKE and dairy farm to bukit timah road already.. i'm nearing home..

"so you still think about her often?" i asked.

"uh huh," he replied, "when i feel stress or sad, i'll go to the cemetary and talk to her. sometimes i'll even fall asleep there."

"but i always feel that she's around. you know, like she never really left." he added.

"erm, okaaay.. by 'around', you mean always around in your heart or in the supernatural sense?"

he gave a knowing smile and told me that he doesn't sleep with a blanket on even though it's always on the bed.. but sometimes when it rains, he will wake up to find himself covered with the blanket..

"could it be your kids?" i queried.

"nah, not likely.. they are still so young, got lightning they'll run away and hide already," he laughed, and pulled into the parking lot under my block.

he wondered whether i am from SIA (i mentioned that i was a cabin crew much earlier on) as his cab is under those contracted to fetch crew when they touchdown after hours.. i said that i was and it would be nice to see him again one day.. i asked him what his name was, "Rafi" was the simple reply..

i paid rafi the fare, thanked him for sharing such a personal account with me and wished him and his kids all the best before getting off the cab.

and that was that..!

what started out as an ordinary conversation with rafi the cab driver, led to his sharing of an extraordinary love story.. all within the time span from east across to the west of the island..

God bless him and his family. May his beloved wife rest in peace.

A wedding i attended

2010-07-24T21:48:00.004+08:00

i attended a wedding this afternoon, it was fairly sweet and quaint..

felt pretty left out though because everyone was talking about their work and i don't understand a single bit of anything..

as in i don't mind being quiet and listening to others for a change but even so, i can't really follow what was being said.. a fair bit of them are civil servants and they work in the land of 'acronyms'.. it was unfortunate that my occupation is so niche, i've nothing much to add into their conversation..

i don't understand, why must everything revolve around work?

many of the guests there are old school mates who have not caught up with each other for ages and updating each other about their own work life is understandable.. however the conversation topics never venture beyond work-related stuff the whole afternoon..

i couldn't help but compare to conversations that i share with crew outstations.. yes, we do talk about work-related issues like our flights and passengers, yet at the same time, we talk about everything else under the sun..

in fact at the flight i just had, we were chatting over a few glasses of wine.. by the time we retire to our rooms, we've covered STDs, bringing up a child in sg, various goverment campaigns, crime rate of different countries, YOG, single VS married life amongst many other things..

but all in all, it's a happy occasion and i'm glad everyone enjoyed themselves over lunch..

my parents' "golden years"

2010-07-21T22:34:00.003+08:00

onboard the other day, a crew asked me a random question whilst chitchatting in the galley.. he was wondering how old my parents are.. i realised with a start that my mom is 52 and my dad is already 58!

God, 2 more years before one of my parent officially becomes a senior citizen!!

i just feel so afraid.. how many more decades will i have them for? i don't have enough of them yet!

my dad is already so old but my younger brother is still studying, my older brother is still struggling to have enough cash to settle down with his long-time girlfriend..

it's not fair! he should already be retiring and planning how to enjoy his golden years at this age.. instead he's nowhere near that and still working 3 shifts..

i feel so unhappy and helpless..

"Only in New Zealand.."

2010-05-17T18:34:00.002+08:00

this is an actual question from the health science paper in the kiwi university my bro is studying at.. so funny~!

thank goodness You are more attentive to me then i am to You..

2010-05-17T15:36:00.002+08:00

my rosters have been insanely good.. so good it's freaky.. i'm convinced it's not a coincidence anymore..

december: athens, capetown, zurich
january: milan-barcelona, auckland
febuary: dubai-riyadh, zurich
march: dubai-istanbul, moscow-houston,
april: copenhagen, milan-barcelona
May: hongkong-sanfrancisco, christchurch, london
June: hongkong-sanfrancisco, munich-manchester, amsterdam

and i'm still not 330 trained yet!! somehow i was missed out..

these are the long flights that i can remember offhand.. in between are 3-day medium haul flights to melbourne or sydney.. barely any turnarounds and no indian flights since last year october!

i've been trying so hard to save since i finished repaying my dad the tuition fees early this year (from NUS).. alas at the end of every month, somehow i never have enough left to set aside..

i've become too use to spending since i started flying.. i feel so terrible when i cannot set aside the 2k that i aim to save monthly.. i always worry that one day my luck will run out and the good flights will stop coming in..

if i don't make it a habit soon, i'll leave the airlines in the same state as when i joined - with an empty pocket..

but now i know God is with me..!

instead of having a horrible roster every other month, which is what many of my colleagues are experiencing, and having to draw the strings on the purse instantly (which is really hard!), month after month He blesses me with fantastic rosters so i can slowly wean myself off my spendthrift ways and not having to worry too much about the consequences of failing..

i remember a pastor telling me that God wants us to focus fully on working towards our goal because we can be assured that He WILL be there to catch us when we fall and NOT focus on what would happen if we were to fail..

this little episode really allows me to understand the teaching better..

the first few months (after i repay the tuition fees debt), i get depress and upset with myself everytime i'm unable to save enough.. the thought of not having savings during rainy days scares me.. the fear and self-blame were really distracting..

but after i realised He is intervening, i was able to concentrate on my goal with optimism instead of despair.. things have been going jolly since end april.. i can't wait for payday to see how much i've managed to save!! =D

Once again i feel so loved.. i haven't been to a service in ages and say grace only when i remember.. but He is always so ready to answer my pleas and prayers..

i'm thankful that my God is more attentive to me then i am to Him..

put yourself in her shoes will you?

2010-04-23T23:54:00.006+08:00

i just came back from a flight where i'm thoroughly disgusted with everyone onboard (in economy at least).. although the company states that the official language used at work should be English, i understand when people feel more comfortable conversing in their mother tongue..

however it's plain mean and insensitive to speak in mandarin and hokkien in front of someone who understands neither..

in this case it was a indonesian fss who couldn't understand a word anyone was saying.. i prefer to speak in english anyway so i chatted with her a bit during lull period.. aside from that it was hard because the rest of the colleagues were speaking to me in mandarin and it was awkward to reply in english every single time so i gave in too..

it didn't help that she was the most junior onboard and was on business class training probation.. all eyes were on her and believe me when i say it isn't a nice feeling at all.. (been there done that)

"she's so gonna get F-ed in business class," one of the girls had said snidely, clearly not very sympathetic..

i felt so unhappy about the whole thing but am powerless to intervene (being second in line from the bottom of the crew list).. only thing i could do was to vent on fb, msn and my blog when i came back to singapore..

in Copenhagen..

2010-04-14T20:21:00.003+08:00

i think i've been very moody and irritable recently.. mingwei says i'm more grumpy and andrew says i'm more sensitve.. sigh, what's wrong with me? i don't know..

i'm not enjoying myself much in copenhagen either.. didn't really clique with this set of crew..

went out on the first day by myself to take photographs.. they came out so-so.. tired myself out and came back in the evening to collapse in bed for 12 hours before waking up to meet the crew for breakfast.. it was kinda plastic.. the interactions at the breakfast i mean..

somehow just felt a little depressed and that killed my mood to go out again to take more pictures.. wasted the day away in the hotel room using my laptop and ate Indomie.. God, that's really no life!

i brought my gym wear and swim suit but there's this inertia.. i feel fat and out of shape too.. i want to stop feeling this way and be cheerful again =<

will i pick up or will i spiral down?

* Rundetaarn in København

self-imposed ban

2010-04-06T06:16:00.003+08:00

after a very drunk night on 24th wednesday, i banned myself from clubbing for a few weeks..

it was like any other night where i was nursing my own bottle of red wine.. i know i'm not that fantastic a drinker hence i always keep to my wine and mix minimally..

but somehow that night i started mixing when i got high and before i knew it, i was totally gone.. i've had too much to drink before and most of the times it was just puking, wobbly on the legs or just so sleepy that i call it a night and cab home.. but this time it was different..

i was still walking around, dancing and chatting.. no one knew i was drunk till i started barfing.. razif and jerlene immediately came over and took care of me.. i couldn't recall what happened after that, although according to razif, i told them that i was drunk and wanted to leave.. seeing that i was too gone to go home, they helped me back to razif's sister place and put me in bed there..

what scares me is that i know, for the first time, i was too drunk to have any senses left in me.. the knowledge that if razif and jerlene hadn't been there anything would have happened, really shakens me..

although i laughed about it the next day, i berated myself and knew that i need to stop partying for a while to think things through and self-reflect on how dangerous it has been to allow myself to get that drunk..

i promise myself that that will never happen again.. i've too much to lose if shit happens..

hmmmm..

2010-03-21T22:44:00.005+08:00

it's been 2 weeks plus and i still haven't recieve anything from cabin crew division regarding the late reporting.. weird that it's taking so long.. usually such diciplinary stuff they'll dish out very fast and it's the complimentary letters and such that takes forever to get through.. oh well.. (maybe they forgot all about meee!)

i just came back from a Bali holiday trip with mingwei.. for once, it was a really relaxing holiday! and no, i don't believe in the mambo jumbo about couples breaking up if they were to visit Bali before marriage..

as i was saying, what makes this trip different from other holiday trips was that our itinerary was not stuffed to the max.. we got off the plane at the airport with no plans at all for the whole 5d4n except for lots of visits to *Rose Garden (the MOST awesome massage place ever on earth)!

in the end, we ended up so busy relaxing and doing nothing that we didn't bother with sightseeing at all..

'busy relaxing' sounds like an oxymoron i know..

what happened was that in singapore we just never had the chance to throw EVERYTHING to the back of our minds and do whatever we like at whatever time we want.. Mingwei is stuck with his insane office hours and although i've more free time, they are allocated randomly by my crazy flying roster, i cannot choose when i am free..

in Bali, if we don't feel like waking up for pre-arranged morning plans, we just cancel it and go back snooze.. if we feel like eating seafood, we'll immediately hop into a cab and head to Kuta or Jimbaran.. feeling lazy? we'll just spend hours in the room/lobby/beach reading our books, stoning or chattering incessantly about anything that pops to mind..

i'll always remember how we would randomly burst into giggles or gasped at exciting parts of our books, when we were lounging around reading.. or when there's a part that really interests us so much that we want to share with each other that segment or our thoughts..

the listening party will nod condescendingly and make appropriate 'uh-huh', after which, (i/he) will resume reading (my/his book) greedily.. haha, and if, coincidentally, we both want to tell each other about the parts that we like at the same time, we'll start 'fighting' for airtime!

these are the moments i find most memorable about this holiday.. moments when even we are immersed in our own separate private imaginary worlds, we still want each other to be part of it at the same time..

Off to Bali..!

2010-03-17T11:06:00.000+08:00

Dear all, i'm at Gate C24 at Terminal 1 waiting to board the plane and fly off to Bali!! heeheehee.. but why am i still blogging here and not already on my way?

because the stupid AirAsia flight was delayed from 10am to 11.35am! hmmpf.. the aircraft just docked earlier only.. SIGH..

see ya all when i'm back on sunday!! =D

messy french twist

2010-03-08T00:38:00.000+08:00

as some of you know, i bun my hair into a french twist when i work.. and i think i do it pretty neatly if i do say so myself.. hehe..

but the tragic thing is that my hair grew longer and it's really thick, so it got harder to do the twist properly.. hence, i went to trim/layer it.. the end point was just as bad if not worse..

somehow because of the layering, the twist gets v loose and i can't make the little 'hump' on the head.. my hair has been looking terrible for the last 3 sectors on dxb-ist.. i doubt my hair has ever look messier onboard..

sigh, don't like this because i'm very anal when it comes to the neatness of my hair onboard..

never felt so sad in quite a while..

2010-03-05T04:18:00.003+08:00

2 days back, i misread my departure time for my reporting time and when the call came from the control, i only just finished makeup and doing my hair.. rushed like mad and anyhow threw the essentials into my cabin bag and i was out of the house..

reported an hour late for flight and had to rush straight to aircraft.. although i was given an earful by the IFS, the rest of the crew was really sweet and sympathetic.. i was even offered clothes and drystores by one of them.. because it was a 7days dxb-ist and i only have 1 set of clothes, toiletries and my laptop with me..

i have 2 incidents before this and i don't know whether it'll add up with this lapse and end up with demerit points.. suffice to say i was thoroughly miserable for the whole flight, worrying about the consequences..

i felt so crushed because i know i've no one to blame except myself..

i tried my best to continue smiling and be chatty onboard, as well as in dubai, when i met the crew for lunch and shopping in Dubai Mall.. halfway through shopping i just didn't feel like browsing anymore and just stared blankly at the mall's aquarium for an hour, waiting for the rest to finish..

back in my rm at night, the pent up feeling and floodgate were finally released when mingwei did a silly little dance over skype to make me laugh and cheer me up..

at first i teared a little because i was touched by his sweetness.. but that led to me bursting into tears of self-pity for like 10 seconds............... before the hotel engineer knocked on my door to pass me a portable heater! (i called earlier to complain that my room was very cold)

still sniffling, i quickly wiped my face dry and went to answer the door.. totally anti-climax..

after that i felt much better, still depress but no longer as upset..

oh, shut up.. you hypocrite!

2010-03-02T00:42:00.003+08:00

got majorly pissed off over msn earlier.. it was about the LV bag that i wanted to buy..

so i'm just minding my own business expressing my thoughts on my nick "lusting for a Louis Vuitton Damier Graphite Keepall 55" when this genius came up and said things about LV being overpriced and i'll be just paying for the brand..

i gave a friendly reply saying that i know it's a splurge and it's only tempting because i can afford it.. and genius started a tirade against branded bags.. saying it's a waste of money..

i got offended when genius said stuff like "such bags are for people with money to burn.." and "people buy it to look high-class.."

by saying so, genius is implying two things
1) i'm wanting something that i can't afford
2) i want to "act high-class"

both of which are damn insulting.. excuse me, the bag will cost me only a third of my last month's salary and F.Y.I i'm very satisfied and confident in my own poise and classiness..

what irks me even more is that genius is a proud owner of a GTI when genius haven't even graduate from school yet.. who, may i ask, is more materialistic?

i retorted that buying a car is just as wasteful in singapore's context as the public transport system is very efficient and affordable and even if you cab everywhere, it's still cheaper than owning a vehicle.. that, in my opinion, is just as wasteful! and since i don't exert my opinion on genius, i expect to be treated likewise..

but noooo.. genius insisted that it's different! the car's beneficial..! bullshit la!

the msn conversation ended off with:

me- i maintain tt the bag is a paltry sum compared to ur car.. and since i dun plan to buy a car i dun see an issue
genius- yeah yeah, go ahead, throw away 1.9k on a bag, im more than happy for my rich friend ;D
me- thanks
genius- if i were so rich, i would have gotten an Audi R8 instead of a GTI
oh well, i can always dream (:

WTF?? i gave up and closed the chat window..

my expensive wants...

2010-03-01T23:27:00.004+08:00

i want to buy a dual-time watch (DTW)! why? because i'm so sick of doing math at ungodly hours when passengers ask me what time is it onboard.. the worse is indian flights because the GMT is 5.5 hours.. the 1/2 hours is insane when your brain is mush during an overnight hyderabad turnaround flight..

why GUESS u may ask? not because it's "branded" (it's not that branded also).. it's because there isn't much DTW in market now.. either they are too bling or the watch face is too big.. seiko and casio used to have very practical and affordable DTW but they stop making it (why??????)

GUESS has a nice balance of affordability and aesthetic appeal.. ONLY if i buy it as a couple set.. sigh.. by itself a piece cost 200 plus SGD while a set cost just under 300 bucks or less! that's almost half price!

would some kind (male) soul please buy with meeeee..?

i'm looking at the exact model but with brown leather straps

the latter is.....

a Louis Vuitton damier graphite keepall 55

want to use it as a cabin bag.. hmm, okay i admit this is pure indulgence.. i've got no good reasons to justify the 'need' to buy this bag except for the fact that i want it and i can afford one easily..

yes, i understand that it cost an arm and a leg for some.. i'm just trying to say that i'm only considering buying it is because i do not have to scrimp and save to own one.. and no, i'm not bragging..

aside from the sum set aside for monthly savings, the surplus is to spent no?

sigh, still sleeping over it.. can't decide whether i should buy..

this blog is NOT dead!

2010-02-08T00:27:00.003+08:00

argh, how time flys.. i didn't even realise that it has been 2 months since i last posted! i'll try to be more regular with my blogging! promise! =]

my past few days

2009-12-02T01:14:00.008+08:00

after i came back from London, i have 4days of leave.. i told myself that i shall try to make full use of this time to spend some quality time with my family, boyfriend and 2 best friends which i never seem to have enough time for..

once i touchdown i met mingwei and spent a wonderful saturday and sunday with him.. slacking around, eating at siglap, and doing random things like examining the craters of the moon with his telescope..

on tuesday i met up with jingwen at Tea Party.. it's really nice to have the owner recognise me after so long (i used to study there real often back in school).. once i walked in, he just smiled and said 'your friend's upstairs'.. feels homey!

as jingwen studied for her bar exams, i finished 3 National Geographics and 1 August Man magazine.. in between i would just share interesting facts and pictures from what i was reading or pop random questions that came to mind..

and no, i don't think that counts as distracting her.. i'm trying to ~~relieve my boredom~~ make her mundane revision more interesting! =D

an example~

me: eh, i've 2 weeks off in nov 2010.. fancy taking leave to travel?
jw: *looks up from laptop* 2 weeks is too short for a holiday!
me: please la, 2 weeks was enough for me to travel london and barcelona earlier this year!
jw: but.. i can't go to places like.. like antarctica!
me: fine, that takes a month probably.. (because it can only be reached by ship from NZ) but most other places it's alright..
jw: and south pole too!
me: erm, u do know that south pole is AT antarctica right??
jw: antarctica is at south pole?! what about north pole??
me: alamak, north pole has no land at all..!
jw: *shocked silence*look of disbelief* really???

and for the 4hours that i spent at Tea Party, i had a mushroom soup, prawn aglio, fried chicken and 2 cups of tea.. she brings out the glutton in me!

SIGH..

anyway, tuesday was kwan zheng's 22nd too but i only met him up on wednesday! it was only then that i realised i haven't gotten my present from him too! lol, so we had a gift exchange at his place..

happily tearing open the wrappers

posing with my very own 'Grammy' in a dress!

him with the cookbook i bought from London

after oohing and ahhing over our respective gifts, we headed to Baa Bar for dinner.. sadly, food standard has really plunged.. unsatisfied, we went in search for yummy desserts.. i suggested Island Creamery but kwan zheng said there's this place even better!

i was secretly thinking 'really meh??' but went along anyway.. and boy, was i proven wrong! it totally totally hit the spot..!!!!

'Taste matters'
finishing off delicious lemon tarts at this cosy well-hidden dessert shop in Cluny Court

~~~~

in between i still managed to squeeze in a movie with haresh, supper with kelvin, lugging my cargo bag AND cabin bag downtown for repair.. quite a pretty fruitful leave so far if i might say so myself.. =]

comfortable in my skin

2009-12-01T01:10:00.009+08:00

"... when i'm with you, i feel that i can do anything i want. i never need to worry about what impression i'm giving.

for instance, am i coming off as witty? am i being poised? is behaving this way uncool?

i can stuff my face with food as and when i feel like it and i can burp freely without a shred self-consciousness...!"

the above was what i told mingwei two days ago when we were in a cab. I was just thinking back on how fun that day was when it struck me that being with him has made me very comfortable in my own skin.

i'm not as overly concern, as in the past, about my looks or how people see me.. yes, i do whine when it's a bad hairday or when others are judgemental towards me.. but on a whole i get through it unfazed..

if i don't feel like dressing up or putting on make-up today, i shan't.. if i'm too tired to party, i'll just give a flat 'no' instead of giving in and going along when i'm dead tired.. if i feel i've drank enough, i shall stop with the alcohol, even if what i've drunk is a very small amount as compared to what others around had..

fyi: i think people who purposely drink non-stop till they are senseless (and think it's cool) are immature, irresponsible and dumb

i don't worry about being called 'not happening', 'boring', 'party pooper' or 'goody two shoes'..

"you think me look like i care your thoughts?"

i meow to every cat i pass by,
i don't watch TV at all
i prefer wine over hard liquors and beers (even in clubs despite others sniggering),
i like to hang out in a cafe by myself and waste the afternoon away with a good book,
my favourite magazine is National Geographic,
i would never part with anything more than a couple of hundreds on clothes/shoes/bags but i didn't hesitate to splurge on a DSLR costing me a couple of hundreds short of 2k,
my idea of a wonderful offday spent when not flying is binging at a hawker centre in flip flops, FBT shorts and tshirt
i think it's really uncouth and unbecoming to use swear words in any languages, hokkien, english, chinese etc (although i'm guilty of uttering them occasionally)
the most high-tech function my handphone has is 3G and that's that,
i don't take plastic bags, if i can help it, when making purchases because i'm a tree hugger,

the idiosyncrasies just goes on..

"nyah nyah! meow!"

Singaporean fooooood!!!

2009-11-03T11:08:00.004+08:00

Being away in Rome for 5 days really had me craving for local hawker food.. especially with Italy being a country that serves only its on fare in restaurants.. they don't even have the normal breakfast in MacDonald's!!! they serve crossiants instead.. *shudders*

i wouldn't have that problem in australia or states for instance.. i can easily find Asian food anywhere there..

in defence, i'm not the only who feels that way for that flight! the crew had similar sentiments too..

we were fantasizing about char kway teow, BBQ stingray, ba chor mee and hot soupy dishes.. i mean i totally LOVE the pasta, pizza and gelato in Italy (they are mind-blowing!) but it's still nice to have a piping hot Asian dish at the end of a cold wintry day..

G-E-L-A-T-Oooooo.. <3

somehow the Italian food always get cold really fast.. i doubt it's the weather? because i never have that problem when i eat Korean food (considered as Asian dish also la) during Seoul's winter..

so the crew made plans to have supper on touch down day! headed down to the best BBQ stingray in town at Changi Village and ordered the biggest portion, together with char kway teow, ice teh tarik and jia jia liang teh!

the next morning i bought the black carrot cake, nonya rice dumplings and the colourful 9 layers kuey..

what shall i have for lunch later?

hmm, haven't decide.. yum yum.. I love Singapore!!

Out-dated post

2009-10-26T03:23:00.020+08:00

my blogging has been kind of sporadic lately.. not that i do not have time but sometimes i just do not have the urge to do so..

different flights every week, meeting new people everyday.. so many novel things are constantly popping up all the time.. sometimes i feel so overwhelmed i don't know what to blog about anymore..

i really wish i can pen everything down but that would mean being fixed to my laptop 24/7..

however if i were to just write a one-liner to summarise it, it doesn't seem to do the "experience" justice either.. so more often than not, it never made it here..

but i shall try my best and attempt to summarise what i've been up to lately..

here goes..!

Sojourn Resort, Siam Reap

the Villa

Fish Spa!

it's so itchy when the fishes nibble

Angkor Wat at sunrise

people perched on the ruins around Angkor Wat

Mingwei wants to go THIS way

*jumps*

Angmoh dude having siesta at the temple

all smiley for Breakfast

THE "award-winning" photo.. lol

Ta Phrom, where Tomb Raider was filmed
(note the HUMONGOUS tree trunks! wicked!)

tromping around Ta Phrom's outskirts

gorgeous Bayon Temple (our favourite!)

the breath-taking ruins

Hurricane Ketsana said 'hi'.. %$#@&*

best french restaurant in Cambodia?

even the king dines here..
that's his signature on the menu.. awesome!!

we whacked our way through their menu
and the bill came up to quite a tidy sum.. opps! haha..

Osaka with Erica (right) and Irene (left)

taking the train down to Kaiyukan Aquarium

wah, big fish!

the whale shark in the Pacific Exhibit is magnificent!
largest fish in the world- full length 12m

came back for a quick bday trip with jingwen to Sentosa!

Sun-tanned the whole afternoon
but didn't get any darker.. crap..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

that's all for the moment!! part and parcel of my everyday life =] =] =]

back to the bottom of the food chain..

2009-10-23T00:13:00.003+08:00

from today onwards, i'll officially be business class trained! although the 2 SNY flights have been relatively uneventful, i'm still a little intimidated by what will be in store for me in the coming months…

feeling unsure, making silly mistakes, getting tongue-tied, fumbling around looking for an item that refuses to be found...!

but i'm looking forward to the day when i'll be as comfortable in business class as i am in economy.. just hope that i can quickly get the period in between over and done with!

God, please bless me with sweet passengers and non-zappy crew! Amen.

Musings

2009-10-12T21:39:00.003+08:00

are there days when you feel you are stuck in a roomful of people who just doesn't bring out the best in you?

i do.

i feel like my personality is suppressed.. i feel awkward, clumsy and totally uncool.. just like when how one would behave awkwardly around a crush.. but in this case, it has nothing to do with opposite sex jitters..

such individuals can be anyone from either sex, any age, race or background.. he/she is just some random guy or girl who totally sucks my sense of humour, wittiness and personality out of me (yes, yes.. whatever little i have u snide people!)..

when these "social vampires" appear, i just say the stupidest, most inane and unintelligent things.. i would somehow lose the ability to mingle and end up standing at the edge of the group sticking out like a sore thumb..

the confidence and self-esteem built over the years will dissolve, giving to way to this meek and boring snivelling girl that i myself don't recognize.. hell, if i'm the third party i wouldn't want to hang out with "myself" too..

maybe i'm too harsh on myself but that's how i feel..

if it gets bad enough, all the unhappy memories and insecurities that i harboured in my teenage years will ooze up if i allow myself to get carried away: the unrequisited wish to have a sense of belonging and to be accepted.. hating the fact that i must somehow be different because why else i couldn't clique with everyone..

i felt that way today.

it wasn't a really pleasant feeling.

i should just checked myself into a mental ward huh? hmm, i wonder whether my company covers that..

YOU hate me don't you?

2009-10-12T00:09:00.003+08:00

i know someone up there hates me.. who? i don't know.. probably God..

the foul mood from saturday last till today.. hey, in fact i'm still damn pissed over it.. so that makes it a double whammy..

so what's the other thing that makes it double? let me enlighten you, dear readers..

i had one hell of a hairdressing experience.. it's like the most disastrous incident ever..

i thought it was bad that i had to go for a perm myself, spending hours alone on the stupid chair.. reached there since 3pm and waited till 4pm before my hairstylist was free.. it was only 6ish pm when she finally put on all the curling irons and connect it to the ceramic perm machine..

and my nightmare started..

the bloody machine broke down on me! fuck..

i was watching shows on the laptop and i felt something was amissed.. why isn't the irons heating up? when she then admitted that the machine was spoilt and panicked a little.. she offered to use hair dryer to do the heating up instead and i gave a flat "no".. hell, i'm paying good money for this and this is MY hair.. you don't try funny alternatives on it.. she then started making phone calls and stuff..

it was just so that may of her friends' shops were already closed as it is a sunday or do not have a similar machine.. thankfully a friend agreed to go back and open her shop for me to finish the perm.. unfortunately, she's out having dinner and we have to wait till she finishes then she'll give us a call, which came only 1 and a half hours later..

when we were waiting for the call, i thought it's better to settle the bill so i asked how much it is.. i totally flipped when she told me that i'll be charged the full price..

hello? because you only accept cash hence i always have to go withdraw cash to pay.. and now because your machine's spoilt, i've to go withdraw cash with all this ceramic shit hanging in my hair.. you still expect me to pay in full???

long story short, she gave me a discount and threw in a bottle of treatment cream for me.. and of course, i got sniggered at all the way from the shop to the atm and back.. did i mention that there's actually a queue at the ulu atm at circuit road in the middle of the night as well????

i rot at the shop for 1.5 hours listening to her prattling non-stop about how unfortunate it is for her that the machine broke down, how she should have checked and stuff.. i just grimaced and shut her out.. i was just so tired and my scalp felt sore from the heavy equipment pulling on my hair..

by the time we drove over her friend's place and i finish my hair, it's 10plus already.. to think, i stepped into her shop a grand 7hours earlier..

by the way, her mom and her wheelchair bound stepfather was with us throughout the whole affair and her mom drove me home after.. i can't be bothered to explain how her parents fit in..

the whole day have been so bizarre and it would have been hilarious if i wasn't the one going through it..

it's definitely ranked up there in my list of suckiest experiences..

Upset..

2009-10-10T19:36:00.006+08:00

i haven't been so upset in ages.. it's not at all like the sadness when i get misunderstood or general unhappiness when i quarrel with friends or family..

it's a blood boiling anger that casts a mask over my face and makes me glare balefully at any living thing that dares to give me a second glance out of curiousity (because foul mood is written all over)..

it's already disappointing enough that i got called up for an early turn around and hence i can't join my friends to club.. when they are partying in the wee hours, i'm preparing for flight and by the time they are having their supper after partying, i'm on the cab to the airport..

but that's expected.. i was on standby after all..

it was what happened on the flight that made me so pissed.. i wish i can put it down in words here and bitch to my heart's content but that wouldn't be too professional and i'll never know who's gonna drop by this space..

i was still all smiley (albeit it looks a little frozen) when we were leaving the aircraft.. but once i went out of their sight.. my face turned stormy and it stayed that way till now..

the rage is all pent-up inside and i've no avenue to release it..

"i worked my ass off onboard and that's what i get in return from u.. u asshole!!"

Flash Mob

2009-09-20T17:09:00.006+08:00

A flash mob is a large group of people who assemble suddenly in a public place, perform an unusual action for a brief time, then quickly disperse. The term flash mob is generally applied only to gatherings organized via telecommuncations, social media or viral emails. The term is generally not applied to events organized by public relations firms or as publicity stunts.
~ Wikipedia

it started with me telling mingwei about my evening at pump room and how the band, Jive Talking always play "I gotta feeling" by Black Eye Peas.. (Jive Talking is an awesome band by the way!) he then showed me this flash mob in chicago dancing to the same song..

was so amazed that i started looking up for other flash mob antics on youtube..

The Great Trafalgar Freeze

Michael Jackson in Stockholm

my new toy!

2009-09-15T19:13:00.006+08:00

some of you would have heard that i've been wanting to get a DSLR for quite a while already.. it was only last saturday that i went shopping earnestly for one.. when i finally decided to settle for a Canon 500D over dinner at Funan with mingwei, the shops were already closed by the time we were done with our food..

i was so bitterly disappointed!! had really expected to play with it before i sleep that very night!

we made plans to buy it the first thing in the morning on the next day.. but luck was not on my side and i was called up quite last minute for a Jarkata turnaround.. bummer..

long story short, mingwei offered to buy it for me first so i can have it once i meet him after my flight!

upon touching down, i quickly changed out of my kebaya and rushed down to kallang where he's playing floorball. i could barely contain my excitement! (i'm such a geek.. lol) suffice to stay, i was grinning from ear to ear when i held the Canon plastic bag (with the camera inside) in my arms..

the rest of the evening after dinner was devoted to the DSLR and the camera manual at his place..!

Canon 500D

the 18-200IS lens is bigger than the camera body

halfway through i felt really tired and drifted off to sleep till 11 plus when Mingwei woke me up to send me home as i have a flight the next day..

i know he played around with my camera when i was napping but i only have the chance to look at the photos taken when i reached Abu Dhabi..

this is my favourite photo..
he's so sweet.. =]

your eyes are beautiful.. ly FAKE..!

2009-09-13T00:27:00.004+08:00

'engineered' bambi eyes from non-photoshopped pictures

i know it's really boliao of me but i can't stand it! those eyes are so fake!

Instant Bambi Eyes
1) fake eyelashes
2) contact lenses that enlarges the iris
3) huge dollop of eyeliner

i mean to each his own (or 'her own' in this case) but i really wonder how do they face the world when they are not wearing their eye make-up and people mentally go "oh.. uh, so that's what you really look like.."

i've seen those girls without their make-up on before and they definitely do not have huge doeful looking bambi eyes.. the owner of the eye in the bottom left corner actually looks kinda squinty without make-up on..

although they are not ugly or unattractive naturally, they are singnificantly less appealling visually without the 'engineered' eyes.. with such dramatic differences, don't they feel insecure or disconcerting when it's removed?

just like how a fruit tastes sweeter if you didn't just had a suger cube before.. they would be prettier in my opinion if i didn't realise how much prettier they could have been..

i'm sure you all heard of the saying - eyes are the windows to one's soul?

well, as weird as it may sounds, their soul looks funny to me now..

Edentech Industries

2009-09-08T02:23:00.005+08:00

anyone in need of a new customised PC, laptop or computer parts? with home delivery service! do check this out! =D

click here to find out more!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Edentech Industries is a Singapore based firm, established in 2008, specializing in consulting, designing, building and supplying quality custom built computers, laptops and parts for home, business and gaming uses.

In Edentech Industries, we believe in innovation and excellence, as such, we constantly engage in first hand testing and research to obtain the most up to date information on the current trend in the IT industry today.

As our customer, you will not only leverage on time savings, but also on our technical expertise as well. As avid computer gamers, graphic design artists, and music lovers ourselves, we possess extensive knowledge and experience in customizing our own computers.

Our promise to you, as a user of electronic goods ourselves, is that we will not sell what we would not personally use. Our experience with these products further ensures that we will do our utmost best to meet your requirements.

We work closely with our suppliers to obtain a wide variety of reliable hardware for our customers to choose from. We provide a long warranty as well as comprehensive technical support against faults in our products, simply because we believe in them.

We strive to continue to provide a competitive and transparent pricing for all our products and service. There are no hidden costs, only quality and exceptional service.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
click here to find out more!

a compact post

2009-09-07T23:07:00.015+08:00

heeey pple! *sweeps cobwebs away*

ha, it's been like ages since my last (emo) post.. anyway for those who are concerned, mingwei and i are all sweet and loving again (don't barf! *glares*) and we had a good long talk to settle some differences and differing expectations we have of each other..

one thing for sure, i've learnt to appreciate him more.. there were times when we lose our temper at each other but despite these bickerings, i've never doubt that he truly cares about me.. he really is such a sweetie pie! (of course there are other times when he's being a total ass and i feel like punching him in the face..)

ok, enough of gushing over the bf..

hmm, been a bit busy recently and couldn't catch up with friends as often as i would like to.. roster's been pretty boring recently too.. full of turnarounds and other funny stations.. sigh, i really do feel the pinch now from last month's lousy roster.. except for Beijing (which doesn't really count because the allowance's really low) and Zurich, there's no meal allowance at all!

but those two flights were pretty awesome.. here's a sneak preview.. full ablum is on facebook =D

ZURICH

aren't you guys just jealous? heehee..

lunch with tech crew

monster ginger sighted!

billy goats have no manners..

AND WE JUMP BECAUSE WE ARE SO HAPPY!

BEIJING

THE Great Wall!

taking shelter from the rain.. bah!

creepy crawlies taste sooo gooood..

毅娴格格

hahahahha..

A guilt post

2009-08-10T12:54:00.001+08:00

sigh, feeling quite guilty.. haven't been very nice to Mingwei the past weekend.. went clubbing on Friday evening when he was feeling sad in office and when i popped over on Saturday after my turnaround, i was preoccupied with my laptop..

tiredness from the clubbing and turnaround (back-to-back) made me very crabby on Sunday.. waking up early to go church didn't help.. hence i wasn't too cheerful or in good humour when i met mingwei to watch UP, he had specially bought the tickets as a surprise a few days back as he knew i've been looking forward to it..

Sunday evening was an extended family BBQ at mingwei's uncle place.. the family's huge and i'm really really bad at big gatherings where i'm the only one who's new.. to summarise it, i guess i wasn't feeling too sociable and despite trying to be, i ended up a combination of being reserved and cranky? hopefully the latter didn't show..

and yeah, that's how i managed to make mingwei upset this weekend.. sorry, dear!

I like my older self already!

2009-07-29T15:27:00.005+08:00

Naomi completed the quiz "What kind of old person would you be?" with the result

The "I don't give a damn." old person.

You're old and you don't care. You drive 12 miles an hour under the speed limit, leave your blinker on for 3 miles without turning, and couldn't hear a freight train drive through your living room. Actually, you could. Your hearing is probably fantastic. You just like to pretend you can't hear a thing so those young people will stop babbling about worthless crap you couldn't care less about. Plus, it's a whole lot of fun when people think you can't hear them and talk about you. You just laugh thinking about the subtle revenge you'll get on them by bringing it up every Christmas until the day you die. Wear that middle finger proud! (You use it enough).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ahh, the amusement facebook brings..

Cairo re-visited!

2009-07-25T19:28:00.003+08:00

this the third post within 24hours! hahaha.. as you can see i've too much time on my hands in Dubai.. anyway i'm really excited now!

why??

because i intend to explore Cairo (flying over tonight) by myself! no tourguides, no guided walks, no tourist traps destinations..

just me, my Lonely Planet guidebook and the poor soul(s) that i drag along to tromp around the city with in the 39 °C summer..

i've been to Cairo during winter last year and have visited popular tourist destinations like the Pyramids of Giza, the Cairo Museum, Egyptian bazaars and taken a cruise down the Nile..

now i want to experience something different.. something more quaint..

perhaps a glimpse into the past of this majestic ancient city? or simply just get lost in the crowd and soak up the culture..

stay tuned for more updates!

Flying Lemurs sighted at Bukit Timah

2009-07-25T16:18:00.007+08:00

so kwan and i were minding our own business making our way up to the British Club (because we missed the shuttle bus) when something swooped over our heads, landed on the nearby tree trunk and stared at us with its big big eyes!

i was so excited! this is my second time seeing this creature!

it must have found us very primitive from the funny noices we were making, while trying to wile it down.. after giving us a look of pity, it started climbing up..

the first time when i had such an encounter was when hiking with a friend at Bukit Timah till really late like 8pm at night.. just as we were leaving, we saw it gliding from a tree to a lamp post..

i went back and googled it immediately and it's called "Malayan Flying Lemur" or "Colugo".. it's the cutest thing i've seen in that area aside from baby monkeys! haha..

a picture that i found on the net

it's suppose to be the size of regular house cats and although its name is Flying Lemur, it neither fly nor is it related to King Julian of Madagascar..

not much similarities huh?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i even found a Straits Times article on these furry gliders

Flying Lemur thriving in Singapore's Nature Reserves
By Chang Ai-Lien
29 November 2003

THE shy and nocturnal flying lemur, which was thought to be destined for extinction here, has surprised a researcher who found the furry mammal to be thriving in Singapore's nature reserves.

An estimated 3,000 flying lemurs were found in the Bukit Timah Nature Reserve and Central Catchment Area, said Mr Norman Lim, who has spent the past 1 1/2 years studying the animal.

'This is quite a healthy number for a medium-sized mammal, and indicates that the animal is doing well,' said the fourth-year student from the department of biological sciences at the National University of Singapore.

His study was the first census of flying lemurs here. Previous estimates had the population at about 200 animals.

Though little is known about the creature, it is believed that it has thrived despite the shrinking habitat here because it is not a very fussy eater, feeding on a variety of leaves, and has no predators.

It has also adapted to life in the thicker jungles of secondary forests.

Mr Lim said that although flying lemurs could be found in all types of forest, they prefer primary forest. This is probably because of its richer variety of trees - the animal's main source of food. The taller trees also give them more room to manoeuvre.

There are only two species of flying lemur in the world, both of which are found in South-east Asia, and their closest relatives are not known, although experts say they could be primates or bats.

The animal's distinctive feature is a membrane of skin that acts like a cape. Stretched between the neck and the forepaws, and the hind legs and the tip of the tail, it allows the creature to glide over 100m from tree to tree.

Going by their numbers here, the flying lemur population is likely to be sustainable and there is no immediate threat of extinction, said Mr Lim.

Associate Professor Peter Ng, director of the Raffles Museum of Biodiversity Research: 'This animal is secretive and rarely seen. A study like this shows that an endangered animal like the flying lemur is doing better than we thought.'

However, other less-adaptable species could be in trouble.

Earlier this year, a landmark study by the National University of Singapore and Australia's Northern Territory University found that Singapore has lost about half its animal species in the last 200 years.

Based on detailed documentation of the state of mammals, birds, fish and butterflies on the island, it found that at least 881 of 3,196 recorded species, or 28 per cent - had vanished forever.

Taking into account the probable number of animals here before detailed records were made in the late 1800s, it predicted this figure was actually higher - about half Singapore's animals.

And more than half of those remaining live in the nature reserves.

Considering how many species have gone extinct, Prof Ng said it was a very pleasant surprise to find the flying lemurs thriving.

'It shows that even though we have small forests, they do contain some jewels.'

penny's worth of thought

2009-07-24T23:51:00.005+08:00

it's interesting how the previous entry sparked off comments on the tagboard ranging from sweet to nasty.. on hindsight, i find that the post does sound unintentionally ditzy and arrogant..

honestly, i don't really care..

well, because i know that those whose opinions matter to me, would never think of me that way and understand what i'm trying to put across..

people can be so judgemental and hypocritical at the same time.. i'm sure little thoughts like mine in the previous post flit across everyone's mind every now and then..

why is it that when it's shared or verbalized, it reflects negatively?

if you don't like what i write, you are a fool to waste your time coming back here again..

good night! =D

wow, ego-boost overload

2009-07-21T02:03:00.009+08:00

over the msn, i was told by a friend that i was beautiful.. (now before all of you are go "gee, wat a thick-skinned witch..") i was really really flattered and touched!

that was because i know he genuinely meant it and it wasn't because he's some random flirt trying his luck.. on the contrary, he's happily married to his wife whom i'm positive he loves dearly..

also, although i am confident enough to say that i'm reasonably attractive, i seriously doubt i'm anywhere near beautiful.. especially compared to all the gorgeous girls i meet in the airline..

when i expressed my sentiments he was surprised! he said he thought i would be used to being complimented on my looks by now.. man, it's so sweet of him to say that!

just as i was musing over what a ego booster the conversation was, jingwen's chat window popped up on my laptop screen!

JW: do you know every other guy was checking you out when you came down for my commencement? (i attended her commencement last Tuesday)
me: really meh? i got puffer fish face le
JW: hahahhaa.. they were all checking you out! a few of them asked me about you
me: ooh! tell tell! any hunks?
JW: eh, no hunks asked me personally but they were asking among themselves.
me: huh? how did you find out then?
JW: then some brave souls came to ask me "who is the girl that every guy has been asking about?"

she then cut and paste the following excerpt from another msn conversation:
~eh hullo jingwen
~can i ask u a question
~is your best friend that girl that all the guys (except me) were checking out at commencement that day?

me: why except him?
JW: lol! he's just trying to appear innocent
me: hahahaha!
JW: secretly flattered, right?
me: nope, openly gleeful..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

so yeah, that's one hell of an ego boosting evening i suppose.. haha.. but i still maintain that i'm not hot or beautiful..

i just hide my flaws really well. =]

random post

2009-07-15T14:51:00.005+08:00

sigh, dear readers.. please put ur comments or thoughts in the tagboard! else i've no incentive to blog!

anyway it's been quite a busy few weeks for me.. the past weekends were all spent overseas! the roster's been quite boring as well.. especially the august one! pwah! so many turnarounds! i might as well be a silkair cabin crew..

well, but that means more time in singapore as well.. shall take this opportunity to spend more time with family and friends..

the few recent interesting updates include jingwen graduating, yi hau quitting his job and decision to start on a full-time degree next year, the confirmation of my Bali dive trip and meeting up with elza, an old school mate that i haven't met up with since graduation!

jingwen in her mortar board!! it's her day!

monster-size Mola Mola fish! hope to see it during my dive trip!!!

Updates on my dear mingwei

2009-07-02T05:49:00.011+08:00

as some of you know, Mingwei was finally started work at DPO, Mindef! he started on a monday which is just one day after we came back from our 2weeks holiday to london and barcelona.. i met eagerly him after he knocked off to hear about his first day of work..

pouting because he left only at 7pm and
they worked him very hard on the first day!

hahaha.. later did he know that 7pm is gonna be the earliest ever.. from that day on, it can be anything from 9pm to as late as possible.. poor dear.. it didn't help that the jet-lag from the holiday was insane.. well, at least he expected it..

looking more smiley at Lot1

i was so excited for him over his first day of work!

the week after would be our 1st anniversary on 29 June 2009.. as he was afraid that something may crop up in office on that day itself (it's a monday), hence we met the day before just in case.. sadly, i had to pass him his surprise birthday present a day earlier as well.. had planned to pass it to him on our anniversary day itself..

all the random stuff i got him =]

after dinner at Dome at Singapore Art Museum, we walked down to the esplanade to hang out and look at the arabic writing exhibit..

it was a wonderful evening that passed too quickly.. before we know it, it's the day of the anniversary and i greatly look forward to our date..

we had planned to dress up and hop onto a taxi once he finish work and go chill at One Rochester.. hahaha.. but being the lazy couple that we are... .... we ended up being too tired and cabbed to his place instead to slack around..

as a result, the original plan of a romantic evening spent at an "attas" gastro-bar sipping wine in a pretty dress and make-up was turned to a lazy one in the east, eating maggi mee and tidbits, in t-shirt and fbt shorts..

however the time spent was just as enjoyable, precious and memorable..

it was really fun having a big slice of apple strudel each in his garden.. the cool night air and the sound of crickets chirping just washed away the cares of the world as we enjoyed each other's company..

the one year spent with you by my side has been a wonderful one..

Happy Anniversary, Mingwei.. i love you

A Morbid Nightmare

2009-06-23T19:29:00.004+08:00

i had the most dreadful nightmare two nights back.. it was the night when i just return from London..

In the dream i was overseas, presumably for work? i'm not sure myself but i stayed in a hotel room where i was haunted by a ghost on two occasions.. each time it starts with me entering my room and this lady sitting in the armchair screaming at me.. i can never pick up what was she shouting..

then i got lost and i bumped into my mom who was coincidentially overseas in the same country, visiting an aunt.. i remember finding it very queer.. i never knew i've an aunt overseas.. she told me that she'll bring me to stay over at my aunt's place for the night and i agreed sinc ei can't find my way back..

for the longest time we kept quiet and walked down the street.. i was getting uncomfortable as we never board any public transport at all and i certainly wasn't given the impression that the place was near.. also, along the way i kept noticing weird people on the street.. weird people with complexion too pale for the living, arms twisted the wrong way, legs bending at areas which the bone would not allow..

they all look dead.

disturbed, i finally turned to ask my mom and i shrank away in horror when i saw her hands.. the edges of her fingers were decaying.. she's dead too..

terrified, i ran screaming away from her when she tried to explain.. i remember running across the street, ignoring the incoming traffic as she gave chase..

i frozed when a truck drove straight towards me and i thought i'm going to die..

but nothing happened..

that's when it clicked.. the ghostly encounters, the dead people i see..

it dawned on me that i'm already dead myself..

and i woke up!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

yep yep.. that's pretty much the dream that i had.. i realised it is influenced by the cover of a book i bought in London.. because in the dream my "mom" resembles the woman on the book cover..

tried going back to sleep but couldn't because of the jet lag and decided to go online at 4am in the morning to find people to bug..

thank goodness i've friends who keep strange hours.. and so, i chatted on msn till daybreak..

the culprit!

The Singapore Girl

2009-06-08T12:45:00.009+08:00

I remembered the day I stepped into the waiting room for the interview.. the screen in Sheraton Hotel's ballroom was playing these clips over and over again..

As a Singaporean, I've always been ridiculously proud of our airline and Changi airport.. watching the advertisements just made me so sure that i want to be a part of all this!

Enjoy..

1982

1984 (1)

1984 (2)

1985 (1)

1985 (2)

1986

1987 (1)

1987 (2)

1988 (1)

1988 (2)

1990

1991

1992

1993 (1)

1993 (2)

1994 (1)

1994 (2)

1995 (1)

1995 (2)

2004 (1)

2004 (2)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and for the super old school versions...

1970s

1973

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
brought to u specially by a very proud cabin crew of Singapore Airlines

Monster's profound words

2009-06-06T12:39:00.006+08:00

last night, i met up with monster, shaoru and xiao mao for dinner.. it was really great seeing them again.. really missed hanging out with them..

anyway what monster said about loving her mother struck me.. technically it's her brother who said it but she was telling us about it..

"loving someone is not about loving the person the way you would like. it's about loving the person the way THE person wanted to be loved. it may not necessary always make you feel good about loving a person in his or her way (eg. one may think a simple heartwarming hug is over-rated while another may disagree) but that's what real love is all about. doing other wise may have the adverse effect of the person thinking you never loved him or her."

i'll try my best to do that for all my loved ones =]

collection of nice cat photos i took recently

2009-06-05T15:41:00.016+08:00

Our Wonderful Nature

2009-06-05T11:26:00.003+08:00

after viewing this, i can never look at a little rodent the same way ever again..

lagging

2009-06-04T23:54:00.002+08:00

argh, so many things that i want to blog about! so many things that i want to update my friends on!

my bkk trip, diving trip, first flight to the states, birthday in auckland..

where am i going to find the time to put everything up??

bah..

Slightly happier

2009-05-28T22:05:00.004+08:00

i felt so sad i went to www.cuteoverload.com to make myself feel better..

and it worked! slightly..

i just can't help smiling as i pored through the incredibly cute critter images.

cute little Jerboa

A pygmy Jerboa getting weighed

2nd anniversary

2009-05-28T21:39:00.003+08:00

oh, and it's been 2 years since i started this blog on 4 May 2007.

yayness.

so totally not in the mood to be happy. =<

In deep shit..

2009-05-28T21:17:00.004+08:00

apparently i commited 2 disciplinary lapses in just two days.. great..

1) i called in sick after acknowledging a standby call up flight

2) i called in sick less than 2 hours before reporting time for another standby call up flight

so how the hell i got myself into this shit?

Day 1 was my offday and i fell sick and had a high fever, sore throat and body aches. I was called up for a flight for Day 2 during the afternoon of Day 1. As i felt better after taking medications i acknowledge the flight.

On Day 2 morning, the fever came back and i felt too ill to work and had to report sick.

The fever finally subside by Day 2 evening and i acknowledged the standby call up for Day 3. The flight was an early one and when i woke up and realised the temperature came back (AGAIN!) it was already less than 2 hours before reporting time.

Worried that it just might be H1N1 (you'll never know) as i still have the flu symptoms and i did just return from the States, i called in sick once more.

So after checking with my ward leader, i shouldn't have even acknowledge the flight the first time round and i should have reported for work anyway for the second time and get sent back if the fever persist.

Both of which i've no idea i could have done so.

Feeling depressed is an understatement.

Sigh..

2009-05-28T11:19:00.002+08:00

since coming back from the states i fell sick 2 days after.. nope, it's not the H1N1 but just a normal viral fever and sore throat (probably from the 2 boxes of durian jingwen and i gobbled down)..

when i woke up on my last day of ATDO (off) i felt terrible! my throat hurts and my body ached everywhere.. turns out i running a fever of 38 degrees.. went to see a doctor and she said it's probably not the swine flu as i'm not coughing or having a runny nose but she gave me an M.C for the day after (i'm on standby the next day) in case i don't recover by then..

i was so disappointed that the fever did not subside when i woke up the next morning! there goes my chance of having a clean medical record and the accompanying monetary incentives.. after calling in sick for my evening Indian turnaround, i slept the day away.. by the time mingwei came over to visit at night, i was feeling chirpier with dwindling flu-like symptoms and the fever was completely gone.. i went about preparing for the early Hongkong flight that i have the next morning..

at 4am when my alarm rang, i felt really tired but i thought nothing of it as it's an unearthly hour after all, and so i went about washing up and preparing for my flight before the cab comes to pick me up at 5.30am.. at 5am, i took my temperature as required of all crews before reporting for flight and it shows that the fever has returned..

although it did not hit 38 degrees the second time, i thought i should play safe and report sick again since i still display flu-like symptoms and i was in the states less then 7 days ago.. unfortunately that is actually a disciplinary lapse as i'm not suppose to report sick less then 2 hours before reporting time.. the company will ask for an explanation from me..

it didn't helped that by the time i went to see a doctor, the fever has subsided.. i did get an MC in the end but it is for throat inflamation (one of my flu-like symptoms)..

from horror stories i heard from colleagues, the company isn't well-known for compassion nor tolerating disciplinary lapses.. what if the reason i give isn't deemed good enough for the last minute cancellation of flight?

i feel so worried now..

Is There Money In This?

2009-05-23T23:16:00.004+08:00

A friend (ian wong) from university joined a film-making compeition and won! really cool stuff.. and the video is quite hilarious too.. congratulations, ian! way to go! =]

Winner of Best Film and Best Directing for the 2009 Singapore 48 Hour Film Project Competition.

Producer: Drew Yu.
Director: by Tan Siang Yu.
Assistant Director: Ian Wong
Cast: Benny Kumar, Lee Sze-Chin

Won 'Best Film' and 'Best Directing' for 48HFP Singapore 2009.

Category: Comedy

Afghanistan quarantines its only pig

2009-05-23T17:30:00.002+08:00

Afghanistan -- which surely needs no more frightening concerns -- has amply protected itself from swine flu, ahem, the AH1N1 contagion, by putting the country's only pig in solitary confinement. The farm animal lives in the Kabul Zoo.

That's that, then. And for more on flu hysteria, see Josh's list here.

Wed, 05/06/2009 - 6:47pm

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hahaha.. i almost died laughing when i chanced upon this article online

LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE =]

2009-05-08T21:50:00.004+08:00

i left for Bangkok on 4May, i flew back last night, and i'm heading back to tom yam land tomorrow! originally it was a diving trip at Redang but we couldn't get tickets because it's Vesak weekend..

refusing to spend my remaining 6days rotting in Singapore, the back-up diving-in-Thailand trip was planned within 24 hours.. (am i awesome or what?) hehe..

Welly, Shiyao and i are gonna catch a coach from Golden Mile up to Hatyai, followed by a mini bus to Pakbara Pier and then a speedboat to Ko Lipe!

wheeeee...!!

*updates will come shortly*

got picked up on the train

2009-04-26T00:02:00.005+08:00

after my Colombo turnaround today, i took a train back after stopping by a colleague's place in the east.. to take public transport, i've to change out of my kebaya and since

sundress + red lips + heavy helmet of a hair (all the hairspray) + heavily-lined eyes with blue eye-lids = FREAKSHOW

that's why i would usually undo the french twist and lighten my make-up so that i bear some semblance of normalcy on the train..

although i have been zonking out since i boarded the train in the east, i was vaguely aware that, for the longest time, the passenger on my right was some guy reading 联合晚报.. i remember rustling it when i swayed to the right in my stupor..

nearing dover station, i sulkily kept my handphone after chatting with mingwei for a while.. his phone call had woke me up from my nap and i wasn't in the best of mood nor the most gracious for the incident that followed..

it certainly did not help that i was exhausted from flying to and fro Sri Lanka in a day and also feeling disgruntled because i did not manage to wile mingwei to come out and meet me (bleah! i was very bored!)..

anyway, as i was tucking my handphone securely into my Muji bag, which i use for turnarounds, the 联合晚报 guy looked over and spoke!

"excuse me, can i ask you a question?"

"yes?" i replied sleepily. PRC guy, i thought as i noted his accented english.

"can i be your friend?"

*long silence*

"eh, NO?" i replied incredulously.

embarassed, he immediately turned back and buried his head in his papers while i nonchanlantly propped up my chin over my Muji bag with my hands and stared blankly into space for the rest of the trip.

on second thought i could have been more tactful and less blunt..

ah, oh well..

too bad too late! sorry dude! haha..

I kissed my "P" plate goodbye!

2009-04-23T16:37:00.007+08:00

i really must pen this down before the elation wears off..

I'VE CLEARED MY 6 MONTHS PROBATION!

it feels so great to know that i'm now a confirmed crew and not having to worry that i'll be written in on every other flight (not that i'm THAT lousy, mind you)..

in any case the probation period's been quite uneventful.. yes, i do have my miserable flights but more often than not, it's me being hard on myself for making silly mistakes than people zapping me..

interestingly, "zap" is a term commonly used (and an action indulged by nasty crew) onboard.. it does not mean to photocopy (duh!) but to tell someone off.. ah, but i digress..

anyway the 6 months of flying so far has been great! it really is a time when i learn to be much more humble, more PR (hehe), more politcally correct and more streetwise as well.. in fact there is always something new to learn on every flight, whether from mean, nice, lousy, good, senior or junior crew!

the first 2 months was really stressful and i go for flights each time with fear in my heart..

for example:
- will i make a mistake that inconvenience everyone?
- it's a long flight, what if i screwed up onboard and no one likes me and don't want to go out with me?
- gosh, it's a top10 IFS (in-flight supervisor), i'm dead..
-oh man, what if the complex leader is nasty and writes me in? i don't want my probation to be extended!

it's extremely encouraging when i realise that the fear gradually wore off over time as i got more confident in my work.. i think my probation period ended really nicely with the flight to Auckland..

on the eve of the flight back, i was really anxious whether i cleared my probation.. when someone has cleared, the "P" sign should disappear from the person's name in the roster on the day itself.. i graduated 6months before on the exact same day, 21 October, and i wasn't sure whether it should disappear on the 21 April or the day i started flying which will be 22 April..

i was really scared when i asked mingwei to check and it was still there.. i was afraid that the written complaint (not about me but the service in general) by a passenger from a manchester flight a couple of weeks back has affected my probation..

to give myself a peace of mind, i smsed my ward leader and asked him about my probation status.. the reply i got is one of the most encouraging words i've heard thus far in my stint in the airlines..

"hello naomi. i think your 6months journey was quite smooth. continue to perform well and be active ... ... contribute responsibly and actively next few years and you should see yourself an LSS* ... ... Sharezen will send you confirmation letter next few weeks ... ... its my pleasure to take care of good crew, naomi. good night"

*LSS: Leading stewardess, the green kebaya

if that wasn't enough, on the return flight back to singapore, i recieved my very first complimentary letter!

the passenger was so happy with my service that he insisted on handing the letter to me personally so i can read it before it's handed in to the IFS.. i was unbelievably pleased that i made someone's day! the act of appreciation shown by the passenger and the satisfaction i felt was immensely rewarding..

and just before we left the aircraft, my complex leader talked to me.

LS: how long have you been flying, naomi?
me: oh, 6months. i'm clearing my probation today! *big smile*
LS: i tell you huh, you just probation only but you performed so much better than the forward crew. their galley was a mess when i went up to help. if i haven't help they would have... (and he proceed to grumble about them)

when i finally got home, i immediately switched on my laptop and sure enough, the "P" was gone from my name in the roster..

on 22 April 09, my day ended with a warm fuzzy feeling inside =]

i <3 Faculty of Arts and Social Science

2009-04-23T15:36:00.008+08:00

"Was mugging (studying) in school during study week as usual and this happened at around 1.30am. Is this a NUSSU (student union) 'event' or is it some idiot trying to play the fool... or is it really SPIDEY???? :P See for yourself. ..." ~Josiah Ee

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sigh, watching this really makes me miss NUS.. where students are reduced to maggi-mee-eating-nescafe-drinking-muggers.. so much so that the school library opens 24hours during study week so its over-stressed students can study in the comforting presence of fellow suffering muggers..

i really miss FASS (faculty of arts and social science) in particular.. there's always something going on along the hallways.. ramly burger store, milo truck giving out free-flow milo, roses given out to promote some production, bazaars and many many more (palm reading even! wth??)..

i believe that FASS is the most happening place on campus!

the library in the clip is Central Library, which is located in arts.. nothing like that will ever happen in science or SOC or engine (yeah right! hell will sooner freeze over) or what have you..

yes, you've got it.. i'm your stereotypical haughty arts student..

we've the best canteen food (thank God!)
FASS have modules where you do nothing but watch movies in lectures
the MILO truck uncle frequents FASS the most!
we've all the babes and hunks
the bridge linking engine and FASS is called engine bridge because only engine students uses it. either for the food (refer to pt1) or for the babes (refer to pt4).
there's nothing in engine that an arts student would want.
our closet consist of clothes other than jeans, sneakers and t-shirts
(scoreboard: Arts 1 vs Engine 0 vs Science 0)
having 3 day week is part and parcel of university life. oh yeah!
all FASS students are innately enthocentric
we make mugging look cool
FASS simply rocks!

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Disclaimer: This post is written in jest. Please do not be offended if your not from Arts. You are still my friend even if you are not as cool. opps..!